(Note: Donations are not tax deductible)

This is a public forum. The opinions expressed here don't
necessarily reflect the feelings of The Folks That Run The Site (that's us)
unless we explicitly say so, ok?


Forum's been "upgraded".
Things will look a bit different.
A *few* posts might have gotten lost in the crossover.
PM bobc with problems, or post in "Website Suggestions".

Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 945926 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3300 on: June 30, 2017, 10:53:06 AM »
Ok...How did the fat guy with no decorating taste ever fit through that door??? :?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3301 on: June 30, 2017, 11:18:18 AM »
I heard Polygram records, Warner bros. and Keebler have merged...New Corp. name is  Poly-Warner-Cracker :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

  • Nancy and me and the pit bike
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 12462
  • Age: 71
  • Location: Skandia, Michigan
  • Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!
    • Nancy and Jon's personal website.
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3302 on: June 30, 2017, 04:29:39 PM »
I'll say that I got this from Ron Main today.  Make your own judgement:

"Ron Main lived all his life in the California and is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
 
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him.
 
He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes,
 
and when all is ready he begins to speak:
 
"My son, David, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."
 
"My daughter Jennifer, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier."
 
"My son, Michael, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center."
 
"Vanessa, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound."
 
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings,
 
and as Ron slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Main, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property."
 
The Vanessa replies, "The axxhole only had a paper route.
"
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3303 on: July 07, 2017, 07:46:09 AM »
why was the computer tired after a cross country trip???...Because it had a hard drive.................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 7350
  • Age: 68
  • Location: Near Furley and Kechi KS
  • Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3304 on: July 07, 2017, 10:36:06 AM »
Jerry, that joke will take a couple of bytes off your plate
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3305 on: July 07, 2017, 01:59:37 PM »
Can we just...file.. them down a bit ? :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2997
  • Age: 71
  • Location: Portland, OR
  • Any fool can drive a V8
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3306 on: July 07, 2017, 03:42:54 PM »
And if you did file them down, the net result would be?
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3307 on: July 14, 2017, 08:00:37 AM »
And the Lord said unto John" Come forth and you will receive eternal life"  sadly, John came in fifth and received a toaster...........
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3308 on: July 14, 2017, 08:02:04 AM »
Did I mention that Pete has been welding for so long that if you tell him it`s "Miller time"..He puts down his coffee and reaches for his hood and gloves ?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Peter Jack

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3665
  • Age: 76
  • Location: Calgary, Alberta
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3309 on: July 14, 2017, 08:17:41 AM »
 :-D :-D :-D 8-) 8-) 8-)

Pete

Offline Stainless1

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 7350
  • Age: 68
  • Location: Near Furley and Kechi KS
  • Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3310 on: July 14, 2017, 08:30:32 AM »
Jerry, Patti called and asked me to talk to you about putting empty cereal boxes back on the shelf.... she says you take the last serving, put it back, when she grabs the box of Post Toasties for breakfast it is gone.... grabs the Grapenuts it is gone, went for Cheerios...gone
Jerry... she thinks you are a cereal killer  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2869
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3311 on: July 14, 2017, 09:06:20 AM »
Salvador Dali started every day with a bowl of surreal...................................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 7350
  • Age: 68
  • Location: Near Furley and Kechi KS
  • Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3312 on: July 14, 2017, 09:36:22 AM »
Breakfast.... the most important beer of the day  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 6477
  • Age: 59
  • Location: Beerhaven, Wisconsin
  • After further investigation, I/GT record holder
    • Milwaukee Midget Racing
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3313 on: July 14, 2017, 10:53:12 AM »
Breakfast.... the most important beer of the day  :cheers:

 :cheers:

I keep pressing this "first beer" point with Kate, to no avail.

She'll be making breakfast - and she's damned good at it - I'll crack a beer, and she'll start bully-ragging me about my beer consumption.

It usually ends up in an argument where she throws her Jameson all over my face, and then it gets all over my omelette. 
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

  • Nancy and me and the pit bike
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 12462
  • Age: 71
  • Location: Skandia, Michigan
  • Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!
    • Nancy and Jon's personal website.
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3314 on: July 14, 2017, 11:04:59 AM »
Good one, Chris :cheers: :cheers:
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com