Landracing Forum Home
November 20, 2017, 04:16:54 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News:
BACK TO LANDRACING.COM HOMEPAGE
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  


(Note: Donations are not tax deductible)







Live Audio Streaming and Archives of Past Events
Next Live Event: TBD
Pages: 1 ... 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 [209] 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 574116 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2238


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3120 on: January 27, 2017, 09:24:46 AM »

I went to the doctor because I broke my arm in two places.....My Doc. thinks I should stay out of those places.............
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2238


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3121 on: January 27, 2017, 09:26:13 AM »

You know the difference between a hippo and a zippo??   One is a big,fat animal and the other is a little lighter............
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2238


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3122 on: January 27, 2017, 09:27:48 AM »

Walking down the street I saw a cookie sitting on the curb crying....I asked what was wrong and he told me he was sad because his mother was  a wafer so long.....................
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2238


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3123 on: January 27, 2017, 09:29:54 AM »

Two bananas are sun bathing along a river bank when a big turd floats by and yells " Come on in...the water is fine"   One banana says to the other"  I don`t believe that sh*t"
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Seldom Seen Slim
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 69
Location: Skandia, Michigan
Posts: 11811


Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


WWW
« Reply #3124 on: January 27, 2017, 10:07:47 AM »

Jerry, why the heck did you go to the bother of getting your arm broken again if it was already broke?  Wasn't one fracture enough for you?  I'm so cornfused. . . huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh
Logged

Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com
Stainless1
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 66
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 6456


Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« Reply #3125 on: January 27, 2017, 10:47:13 AM »

Slim, his sensibility has always been a little fractured....  rolleyes

On the way home I started translating the hiway centerline in morse code... tot to tot to tot to tot to tot to tot to ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Logged

Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
WOODY@DDLLC
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 72
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 1131


It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


WWW

Ignore
« Reply #3126 on: January 27, 2017, 11:21:36 AM »

1.      I am against picketing, but I don’t quite know how to show it.

2.     Jerry stayed up all night trying to remember if he had insomnia or amnesia.

3.     Jon could not figure out why he was not excepted to collage.

4.     On the other side of town, they are building a new apartment called the Oedipus Complex. Everyone and their mothers are moving there.

5.     He is so dense that he couldn’t pour water out of a boot if it had the instructions written on the heel.
Logged

All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2238


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3127 on: February 03, 2017, 09:50:02 AM »

Milo asks................what is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence???  The cat has claws at the end of it`s paws and the sentence has a pause at the end of it`s clause...........
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2238


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3128 on: February 03, 2017, 09:51:33 AM »

Speaking of Milo...He can jump higher than The Empire State Building...But then, the ESB can`t jump............
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
WOODY@DDLLC
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 72
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 1131


It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


WWW

Ignore
« Reply #3129 on: February 03, 2017, 11:19:15 AM »

1.     My boss wants to know what I want to do in 3 years.  Like I have 2020 vision.

2.     My boss also told me that I have the attention span of a……. of a…….

3.     Headline: Fruit truck tips over creating traffic jam.

4.     I go to the gym so infrequently that I feel compelled to call it the James.

5.     I think it is wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

6.     ToDo List:
           NOTHING

Women and cats will do as they please!  angry
Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.  grin
Logged

All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
Podunk
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 72
Location: Hebron, IN
Posts: 172




Ignore
« Reply #3130 on: February 03, 2017, 06:01:38 PM »

I've been having some short term memory loss lately. So the doctor sent me for a MRI of my brain. Here's the result.


* MRI.JPG (227.17 KB, 1280x960 - viewed 59 times.)
Logged
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2238


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3131 on: February 10, 2017, 09:37:19 AM »

Don`t walk around in the snow without your shoes...You`ll be brrrr-footed cheers
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Stainless1
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 66
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 6456


Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« Reply #3132 on: February 10, 2017, 10:07:00 AM »

Observations from a week in the hospital getting my heart valve replaced...

If you don't have a hole there they will install one

If you do have a hole there they will put something in it

There will be a lot of knocks at your door, at all hours, some will be your friends visiting...  some will be the nurse checking, bringing pills or asking questions...  body functions are very important to these folks.... for the first few days after surgery when the knock at the door came I started to ask...
who goes there... friend or enema  cheers
Logged

Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
Seldom Seen Slim
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 69
Location: Skandia, Michigan
Posts: 11811


Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


WWW
« Reply #3133 on: February 10, 2017, 10:27:27 AM »

I felt the urge to stop you - felt that one coming - knew it would bomb - saw that it'd go down the tubes - had to clench to restrain myself - was afraid it was going to make me run -

You get the idea, folks.
Logged

Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com
tauruck
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: N/A
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Posts: 4471





Ignore
« Reply #3134 on: February 10, 2017, 10:35:20 AM »

Always the enema AKA enemy!!!!.
Hope you get get better?. cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers
Logged

Pages: 1 ... 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 [209] 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
Simple Audio Video Embedder
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!


Google visited last this page August 27, 2017, 09:53:04 PM