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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 903143 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3045 on: October 28, 2016, 08:00:49 AM »
Milo`s favorite song???...3 Blind Mice....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3046 on: October 28, 2016, 08:49:55 AM »
I heard Milo ate a baby chicken the other day, then you found him at the neighbors house.... looking in the window

oh my God... Milo has turned into a
 :-o
 :-o
 :-o
 :-o
peeping Tom  :roll:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3047 on: October 28, 2016, 10:39:26 AM »
But he doesn`t do that on Friday Bob.....Only on Caturday.............. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3048 on: October 30, 2016, 08:15:24 AM »
      How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it....

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3049 on: October 30, 2016, 08:16:00 AM »
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3050 on: November 04, 2016, 08:01:48 AM »
1.      A thief broke into my house last night and started searching for money.  I got up and searched with him.

2.      Kids today don't know how easy they have it... when I was young, I had to walk through 9 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel.

3.     There is a fine line between being a numerator and being a denominator.

4.      I don't mean to brag but… I finished my 14-days of diet food in 3 hours and  20 minutes.

5.     The furniture store keeps calling me back.  But all I wanted was one night stand.
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3051 on: November 04, 2016, 08:06:33 AM »
Milo ate an entire duck....Now he is a  Duck filled fatty puss..............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3052 on: November 04, 2016, 10:14:03 AM »
Jerry, heard you took Milo with you car shopping...  how do you like your new Catillac  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3053 on: November 04, 2016, 10:31:31 AM »
The church collection plate gets back to the pastor and he finds a pretty pink envelope in there -- and a hundred dollar bill in the envelope.  No name, no hint of who sent it.

The next week the same thing, and after a few more the minister managed to finally catch a glimpse of the sweet little lady in the fourth pew as she put the pink missive in the plate.

After the service the pastor carefully approached the lady to thank her, hoping it wouldn't make her feel uncomfortable.  she said, though:

"Oh, I'm happy to make the donation each week.  My son sends me money and urges me to give some to the church.  He's very successful."

The man of the cloth acknowledges the son's generosity and asks:  "What does your son do to make him this fortunately wealthy?".

She said -- he's a veterinarian.  He sends me a thousand dollars a week."

"Wow", says the minister.  "I didn't know vets made that kind of money."

"Yes", she says, "he's got two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
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Owner of landracing.com

Offline salt27

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3054 on: November 04, 2016, 04:22:12 PM »
Jerry, heard you took Milo with you car shopping...  how do you like your new Catillac  :cheers:


And to be specific it is a Catillac Catera.   :roll:

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3055 on: November 11, 2016, 07:37:27 AM »
what do you call a large canine that meditates????...Aware wolf :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3056 on: November 11, 2016, 09:50:07 AM »
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.

6. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

7. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

8. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."

9. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

10. Despite the cost of living, it still remains popular.

11. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. [Can't make it idiot-proof - the idiots are too Dodge devious!, Mark Twain]

12. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. [Ref #11]

13. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

14. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

15. The things that come to those that wait, are probably things left by those who got there first. [The second mouse gets the cheese?]

16. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.

17. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

18. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

19. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

20. You start out with nothing, and many still have most of it.
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3057 on: November 11, 2016, 10:56:15 AM »
Any of you guys ever wonder when "old enough to know better" is supposed to kick in  :?
 :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3058 on: November 11, 2016, 10:59:48 AM »
Mom always warned me about following the masses..... claimed sometimes the m was silent  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3059 on: November 18, 2016, 07:41:16 AM »
Camping tip...The draw string from a parka makes a suitable garotte for a snoring tent mate
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.