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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 950698 times)

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Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3000 on: September 23, 2016, 09:41:49 AM »
Woody, Woody, Woody.  Where do you get those?  You can't persuade (pursuede?) me that you make 'em up yourself.

Can you? :? :?
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3001 on: September 30, 2016, 08:10:25 AM »
This mobster....."Tony" suspects that his deaf/mute ( excuse me...non-speaking-hearing impaired) book keeper is ripping him off...So the mobster calls in his sign language speaking attorney to talk to the guy.  " Tony" points a Kimber .45 ACP at the guy`s head and tells the lawyer to ask where his money is.  The b/k starts signing away and tells the attorney that the cash ..about $10 million ..is buried in a brown suitcase behind his garage. The att. turns to Tony and says....." He said  F$%^ you Tony...You ain`t got the balls to pull the trigger............  :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3002 on: September 30, 2016, 08:28:46 AM »
Jerry, Dr. Freud says you are a lexophile, when I asked him to explain he said you wrote a theatrical performance about puns. 
It was a play on words.  :cheers:

Thanks Doc....  :cheers:
 
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Online WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3003 on: September 30, 2016, 09:06:06 PM »
1.  My wife said I need to grow up.  I was speechless.  It is hard to say anything with 45 gummy bears in your mouth.

2.  I wondered what my grandparents did to fight boredom before the internet.  So I asked my 17 aunts and uncles but they didn't know either.

3.  I hope our next president is good at spelling.  We do not need a mix-up between "Lunch Order" and "Launch Order."

4.  Here is a zinger for that person who makes you mad:  "Well, aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution."

5.  What do you call a moon that is twice the normal size?     Kim Kardashian.
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline saltwheels262

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3004 on: September 30, 2016, 09:18:48 PM »
  What do you call a moon that is twice the normal size?     Kim Kardashian.

You can say that again.
bub '07 - 140.293 a/pg   120" crate street mill  
bub '10 - 158.100  sweetooth gear
lta  7/11 -163.389  7/17/11; 3 run avg.-162.450
ohio -    - 185.076 w/#684      
lta 8/14  - 169.xxx. w/sw2           
'16 -- 0 runs ; 0 events -- made a 2 state change in ZIP codes

" it's not as easy as it looks. "
                            - franey  8/2007

gkabbt

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3005 on: September 30, 2016, 09:49:14 PM »
  What do you call a moon that is twice the normal size?     Kim Kardashian.

You can say that again.

Baby got FAT Back, FAT Back, FAT Back and MORE FAT Back..........LOL!!!!!  :-D

And remember, her husband has Presidential ambitions.....GOD HELP US ALL!!!!!

Gregg

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3006 on: October 01, 2016, 06:39:58 AM »
Correction! Correction!  Comma Cop at work.

Woody, dang it, you've gone and done it again.  In your #4 the quotation is shown as an interrogative - yet you don't punctuate it correctly.

WTF is wrong with you, man?  Suffering over the demise of the Wilmington track as a venue for LSR?

Comma Cop rests his case.  Q.E.D.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3007 on: October 01, 2016, 06:43:37 AM »
But speaking of your stuff, Woodson, your first one made me burst out laughing (no gummy bears were injured in the outburst).

A few nights ago I was already in the bedroom as Nancy headed to perform her evening ablutions.  A moment later I heard a bit of a "thump" and Nancy shouting "You are SO JUVENILE!"

I burst into wonderful laughter, thinking that at 68 years old I can still do silly stuff that gets me labeled as a kid.  I'd taped the cover to the toilet seat -- so it wouldn't open right, 'specially in the muted light of almost-bedtime. :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
Grow Up?  Not me!!!!!
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3008 on: October 07, 2016, 12:14:28 AM »
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry the password must be more than 8 characters

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

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USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have more than one upper case letter used consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

Windows: Sorry, that password is already in use

PS don't know why it's showing before midnight, It's an hour off
« Last Edit: October 07, 2016, 12:18:40 AM by Ron Gibson »
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

gkabbt

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3009 on: October 07, 2016, 05:13:57 AM »
TGIF

gkabbt

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3010 on: October 07, 2016, 05:20:28 AM »
Another

gkabbt

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3011 on: October 07, 2016, 05:21:42 AM »
And another

gkabbt

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3012 on: October 07, 2016, 05:22:39 AM »
And another

gkabbt

  • Guest
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3013 on: October 07, 2016, 05:24:05 AM »
And another

gkabbt

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3014 on: October 07, 2016, 05:25:00 AM »
And another