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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 574344 times)
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Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #2985 on: September 09, 2016, 07:01:53 AM »

Commander-in-Chief Forum?  A new video game?
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #2986 on: September 09, 2016, 08:04:29 AM »

Wow....you guys started without ME Huh.....My blonde friend Marybeth called last night and wondered if I could "take a gander" at her car...The brakes were acting funny....I asked where she was.." In the grocery store" was the reply...So I inquired as to where the car was...." It`s in here with me ....."
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
WOODY@DDLLC
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It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


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« Reply #2987 on: September 09, 2016, 01:46:21 PM »

Commander-in-Chief Forum?  A new video game?

Only if combined with Whack-A-Mole!

1.  If I got 50 cents for every math exam I failed, Iíd have $ 6.30 right now.

2.  Do not get tricked into going to the bathroom in a dream. Itís a trap!

3.  I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup.  After that I had a massive vowel movement.

4.  My neighbor says that I am snoopy. Maybe I shouldnít take what she writes in her diary so personally.

5.  I am not a schizophrenic and neither am I.
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All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
floydjer
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« Reply #2988 on: September 09, 2016, 02:12:13 PM »

Triple- S.....don`t go sullying-up my joke thread with politics....I`ve told you that 39 times...Guess you can`t recall...... cheers
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Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #2989 on: September 09, 2016, 02:27:51 PM »

I'll give you about a three and a half, at best, Jerry, for that one.  huh I had to work at it way too much to be a good Friday funny.  Sorry. sad
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
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tauruck
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« Reply #2990 on: September 10, 2016, 06:49:28 AM »

Well, I deed a drink now!.


* Alky1.jpg (29.58 KB, 400x400 - viewed 55 times.)
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #2991 on: September 16, 2016, 07:53:53 AM »

My cat Milo is a bad story teller...He only has one tail............
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #2992 on: September 16, 2016, 07:54:31 AM »

What is smarter than a cat??...A spelling bee............
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #2993 on: September 16, 2016, 07:55:09 AM »

I think Milo is voting for Hillary Kitten...............
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
rouse
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« Reply #2994 on: September 16, 2016, 08:44:06 AM »

You should teach Milo to play cards... That way he'd hope for trumps

Rouse
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Johnnie Rouse
Bike 4680 P-PP2000 SCTA record 153.325    A-PF3000 177.920
                              Texas Mile 152.518
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WOODY@DDLLC
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It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


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« Reply #2995 on: September 16, 2016, 09:05:10 AM »

1.  Someone stole my mood ring.  I donít know how I feel about that.

2.  It is literally unpossible for me to fail an English test.  Try me!

3.  Brunette:  I slept with a Brazilian.  Blonde:  Wow!  How many is a Brazilian?

4.  Words cannot express how limited my vocabulary is.

5.  Being cremated is my last hope of having a smoking hot body.
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All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #2996 on: September 23, 2016, 07:54:55 AM »

How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb???/..None, let her wash dishes in the dark.......
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #2997 on: September 23, 2016, 07:56:02 AM »

How do you tell if your wife is going blind??..Put a windshield in front of her............... cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Stainless1
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Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« Reply #2998 on: September 23, 2016, 08:55:07 AM »

I had a wife once... easy to remember the anniversary... I was a fool, but got married the second I had to....

everyone should now know the date  cheers
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Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
WOODY@DDLLC
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It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


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« Reply #2999 on: September 23, 2016, 09:02:04 AM »

How To Write Good [I was going to save this for your BD, SSS, but ..........]


1.     Avoid Alliteration.  Always.

2.     Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3.     Avoid clichťs like the plague.  They are old hat.

4.     Comparisons are as bad as clichťs.

5.     Be more or less specific.

6.     Writers should never generalize.

Seven:  Be consistent!

8.     The use of passive voice is to be avoided.

9.     It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

10.   Donít be redundant; donít use more words than necessary; itís highly superfluous.

11.   Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

12.   One-word sentences?  Eliminate.

13.   Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

14.   Exaggeration is a brazillian times worse than understatement.

15.   Donít forget to end your sentences in punctuation

16.   Foreign words and phrases:  no mas.

17.   Using profanity in a formal document is horseshit.

18.   Contractions arenít necessary.

19.   Donít be redundant:  Brevity, brevity, brevity!

20.   When it comes to avoiding mixed metaphors, sometimes itís 4th and 15 and youíre looking at a full court press to find alternatives.
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All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
Pages: 1 ... 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 [200] 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228   Go Up
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