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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 757873 times)
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WOODY@DDLLC
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« Reply #2835 on: May 13, 2016, 10:50:26 AM »

1.      When the book fell on my head, I had only my shelf to blame.

2.      When my brother-in-law started telling a joke about his GPS, I wasn’t sure where it was going.

3.     I have doubts about “Smartwater,” given how easily it was captured and bottled.

4.     Never eat Oreo’s before going to the dentist.  They hate that.

5.     My wife told me I was good in bed last night.  Well… what she actually said was that I didn’t snore at all the whole night.
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floydjer
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« Reply #2836 on: May 13, 2016, 12:07:14 PM »

Woody...Re: # 4...I always eat a box of Oreo`s before a dentist appointment.....I like to get my monies worth........................... cheers
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« Reply #2837 on: May 13, 2016, 02:53:13 PM »

Have you heard of an Australian kiss?

It's a lot like a French kiss, just down-under.
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WOODY@DDLLC
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« Reply #2838 on: May 13, 2016, 04:31:49 PM »

Woody...Re: # 4...I always eat a box of Oreo`s before a dentist appointment.....I like to get my monies worth........................... cheers

Try peanut brittle and a spinach salad next time! They'll probably pay you to stay home! grin grin
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floydjer
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« Reply #2839 on: May 20, 2016, 07:59:15 AM »

Why do watermelons have big weddings?...Because they  cantaloupe.................
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floydjer
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« Reply #2840 on: May 20, 2016, 08:00:24 AM »

** Bonus**..Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?  Because she didn`t like the taste of Adam`s banana
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« Reply #2841 on: May 20, 2016, 10:45:06 AM »

How can you spot the blind man at the nude beach?

....it's not hard.
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floydjer
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« Reply #2842 on: May 20, 2016, 12:39:21 PM »

.................Huh??  I thought that was how you find an old man in the dark.................. cheers
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floydjer
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« Reply #2843 on: May 20, 2016, 12:41:28 PM »

Before Slim, Monte, Mike et-al have a field day at my expense...NO..I do NOT go looking for old men in the dark.   jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.  cheers
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« Reply #2844 on: May 20, 2016, 12:51:35 PM »

Before Slim, Monte, Mike et-al have a field day at my expense...NO..I do NOT go looking for old men in the dark.   jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.  cheers

Just the young ones?   evil

Sorry, but you did set yourself up for that one, carry on.
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half-fast racer
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« Reply #2845 on: May 20, 2016, 03:14:07 PM »

Or maybe just in the light? Same principle...
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floydjer
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« Reply #2846 on: May 20, 2016, 03:40:28 PM »

tough crowd...But trust me...spending 58 years with my name has given me a sense of humor. cheers
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WOODY@DDLLC
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« Reply #2847 on: May 20, 2016, 05:19:52 PM »

1.      My brother-in-law asked me where he could buy a sports shirt.  I told him, “New Jersey.”

2.      Mary fell out of bed this morning and said, “Oh sheet!”

3.      I'm addicted to a placebo. I'd quit but it wouldn't make any difference!

4.      Someday, I might like to have a job cleaning mirrors.  It is a job I can see myself doing.

5.      What is Mozart doing right now?  Decomposing.
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« Reply #2848 on: May 20, 2016, 05:22:43 PM »

No, Floydjer.  Say it isn't so.  You're actually Barack Obama?
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« Reply #2849 on: May 27, 2016, 08:42:17 AM »

Guess I'll go first today....

What do you call it when a dog eats jewelry?  A diamond in the ruff.
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I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.
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