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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 969813 times)

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Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2805 on: March 25, 2016, 09:30:06 AM »
Great, Jerry.  That first one is a winner.  Will a black hat do?  (Not, you understand, that I think you're aiming to go 4 on your Go-Scooter). :cheers: :roll:
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2806 on: March 25, 2016, 11:40:30 AM »
Sigh..................I shall attempt to keep us on topic.    Mrs, Floydjer and I were crossing Lake Michigan aboard the car ferry  "Badger"..It was rather windy and each time the wind gusted, MFJ would hold onto her Landracing cap with both hands.  An elderly passenger walked over and said..".Excuse me..But each time you hold that cap with both hands, your skirt blows up and I can see your mommie-part "    The bride replied" Oh that thing is 62 years old....But this L/R cap is NEW " :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline hoss

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2807 on: March 25, 2016, 09:41:20 PM »
I'll join in.
What does the Easter bunny get for making baskets?
,
,
,
,
two points,,,,,,,,,same as everybody else

Offline bbarn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2808 on: April 01, 2016, 08:19:22 AM »
Given that it seems to be a hot topic in the down time between floods....

I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2809 on: April 01, 2016, 08:19:34 AM »
why did the All-Witch baseball team forfeit their game?????  Because their bats flew away............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2810 on: April 01, 2016, 09:57:17 AM »
1.     How many of you love to set off fireworks?  …raise your hook hand.

2.     I was such an ugly kid.  When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

3.     I almost had a psychic girlfriend once, but she left me before we met.

4.     If you believe in psychokinesis…..raise my hand.

5.     I visited the office of the SPCA yesterday…it is sooo small you can’t even swing a cat in there!
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2811 on: April 01, 2016, 10:04:47 AM »
Did you hear the West Virginia governers mansion caught fire last night?

It burned down to the axle.

Offline MRK

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2812 on: April 01, 2016, 10:45:18 AM »
Why aren't there many jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones.......The punch lines are too long!!

Sorry, it might be an old one but I just saw it posted somewhere today and had to share!

Cheers :cheers:
"Racing is life. Anything before or after is just waiting." Steve McQueen

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2813 on: April 08, 2016, 08:06:59 AM »
what is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist??..The dog wags a tail................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2814 on: April 08, 2016, 08:08:18 AM »
...The other tags a whale :cheers:  did I tell you I took my dog to the Flea Circus??  he stole the show !!!
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2815 on: April 08, 2016, 02:41:59 PM »
1.     I heard on the news that a local barbershop is accused of illegally dumping hair clippings.  The police are combing the area.

2.     I bet my butcher $100 that he could not reach the meat on the top shelf.  “No thanks,” he said, “the steaks are too high.”

3.     My boss is not happy with my appearance.   I only appear at work about every third day.

4.     When my boss told me I was late for the fifth day in a row, I thought, “Wahoo, it’s Friday!”

5.     It is difficult to explain jokes to kleptomaniacs because they take things, literally.

Bonus for Slim attached!
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline tortoise

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2816 on: April 08, 2016, 08:41:36 PM »
Quote
  . . . It's something I'm proud of.
That's the sort of thing up with which Slim will not put!
« Last Edit: April 08, 2016, 08:44:14 PM by tortoise »

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2817 on: April 09, 2016, 08:04:02 AM »
Woody, I admire your self-flagellation.  Thanks for the perspicacious frammistan, too.  And speaking of fractured sentence structure:

"Hey - wouldja pass me over the table the salt?"
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
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Owner of landracing.com

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2818 on: April 15, 2016, 07:35:05 AM »
If a turtle loses it`s shell ..Is it homeless or just naked...?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2819 on: April 15, 2016, 07:35:47 AM »
Puns about insects bug me.............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.