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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 878568 times)

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Offline wobblywalrus

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2700 on: October 31, 2015, 07:35:47 PM »
This friday joke thread is one of the nicest parts of the week.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2701 on: November 06, 2015, 08:28:22 AM »
How does a tree get on the internet????  It logs on...........
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2702 on: November 06, 2015, 08:29:10 AM »
My cat Milo is afraid of trees....Must be the bark............... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2703 on: November 06, 2015, 09:43:30 AM »
While we're talking trees -

New movie starring Tom Hanks coming out about a curmudgeon who lives in the woods.

Forrest Grump 
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2704 on: November 06, 2015, 10:29:15 AM »
un-be-leaf-able Chris...............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2705 on: November 13, 2015, 08:32:50 AM »
My brother -in-law is so lazy...He thinks "manual labor" is a welter weight boxer from Mexico City.......... (truth be told...My bro` in law  builds the most gorgeous canoes and boats entirely by hand...drills holes using a brace )
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2706 on: November 13, 2015, 08:41:41 AM »
My bro` in law  builds the most gorgeous canoes and boats entirely by hand...drills holes using a brace

For drainage?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxEOiqtV_MA

"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2707 on: November 13, 2015, 08:47:45 AM »
Such as this one....
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2708 on: November 13, 2015, 09:15:06 AM »
The group of canoers have all got their boats sorted, kit stowed and are impatiently waiting to get underway. One of their number, however, has emptied a huge bag of assorted types of headgear onto the ground. He picks one up, carefully examines it inside and out, and mumbles to himself, "six and five eighths". He then repacks the hat into his bag before picking up another one. He examines this one just as carefully and mutters "seven and a quarter!". He selects the next one, and the next, and the next, each time scrutinizing it meticulously before deciding on a number. This goes on for 10 minutes, and his mates are getting fed up. "Come on," says one, "We're all waiting for you. What do you think you are doing, anyway!"




"Just erring on the side of caution." he replies, "I'd sooner do all my cap-sizing on dry land!"
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2709 on: November 13, 2015, 09:55:56 AM »
Last night I dreamed I wrote Lord of the Ringsā€¦ Linda says I was Tolkien in my sleep.
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2710 on: November 13, 2015, 11:14:44 AM »
Seems wives are always trying to keep our bad Hobbits in check . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2711 on: November 13, 2015, 11:36:54 AM »
Seems wives are always trying to keep our bad Hobbits in check . . .
Now that I think about it, Kate was Tolkein in Czech . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2712 on: November 13, 2015, 04:37:10 PM »
Linda asked me if I wanted to go to the YMCA with her for a jump rope exercise class.... I told her I'd rather skip it.
 :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Tybeeman

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2713 on: November 19, 2015, 07:53:41 PM »
 8-)
The king's messenger walked by the king's grove of unique flat bananas. These amazing flat bananas had a reputation throughout the land for their beautiful color and sweet aroma. Alas, only the king could taste them. To take one of the king's flat bananas carried a death sentence.
One day while passing near the flat banana grove the messenger who had missed breakfast while on a special mission for the king, couldn't resist the wonderful aroma. He hopped the fence and picked just one banana. He was delighted! It was the best banana ever.
Just then the king's guard saw him and arrested him.
The next day the hapless messenger was brought before the king to receive his just punishment. He plead his case and reminded the king of his years of faithful service. The king felt compassion and decided to spare the man.
Overcome with joy the messenger ran dancing and rejoicing, and when he reached the street he was struck and run over by a bus. He died instantly.
The moral.......





You should look both ways before crossing the street.

Happy Friday!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2714 on: November 20, 2015, 07:34:31 AM »
 :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.