(Note: LANDRACING.COM donations are not tax deductible)


This is a public forum. The opinions expressed here don't
necessarily reflect the feelings of The Folks That Run The Site (that's us)
unless we explicitly say so, ok?


Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 988876 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline jpm49c

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 74
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2670 on: October 14, 2015, 07:52:01 PM »
"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"...

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2886
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2671 on: October 15, 2015, 07:41:39 AM »
 :?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
  • Age: 49
  • Location: Harmony, PA
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2672 on: October 15, 2015, 07:54:26 AM »
"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"...



Pretty sure that is what Jerry's comment was about...  :wink:
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3014
  • Age: 71
  • Location: Portland, OR
  • Any fool can drive a V8
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2673 on: October 15, 2015, 09:26:28 AM »
--------> Blond Jokes

Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2886
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2674 on: October 16, 2015, 06:55:22 AM »
What day of the week do fish like the least???????  FRY-DAY :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 6477
  • Age: 59
  • Location: Beerhaven, Wisconsin
  • After further investigation, I/GT record holder
    • Milwaukee Midget Racing
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2675 on: October 16, 2015, 08:43:25 AM »
Ever notice that "Monday" and "mundane" have the same phonetic prefix?

I was working a recording gig in the studio, and we were trying to get the percussion tracks down.

Every time the percussionist hit the floor tom, a low, sympathetic resonate frequency came through studio monitors.

"What's that?", asked the producer.

"Humdrum", I replied.

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MONTE!
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Stainless1

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 7393
  • Age: 68
  • Location: Near Furley and Kechi KS
  • Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2676 on: October 16, 2015, 08:56:04 AM »
A couple of hackers opened a computer store here... when I went by to see what they had... they were closed  :|

But there was a  note on the door.......   Gone Phishing

Monte had another birhtday?????    
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2886
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2677 on: October 16, 2015, 11:20:37 AM »
Happy after-birth day Monte...
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline manta22

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3495
  • Age: 81
  • Location: Tucson, AZ
  • What, me worry?
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2678 on: October 18, 2015, 01:40:55 PM »
Ever notice that "Monday" and "mundane" have the same phonetic prefix?

I was working a recording gig in the studio, and we were trying to get the percussion tracks down.

Every time the percussionist hit the floor tom, a low, sympathetic resonate frequency came through studio monitors.

"What's that?", asked the producer.

"Humdrum", I replied.

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MONTE!

60 Hz humdrum, Chris?   :-D

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2886
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2679 on: October 23, 2015, 07:47:22 AM »
Pre-emptive Halloween strike....what type of music do mummies prefer???..... " wrap "
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2886
  • Age: 62
  • Location: grand rapids, michigan
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2680 on: October 23, 2015, 07:48:33 AM »
....why do demons and ghouls hang out together??/..Because demons are a ghouls`s best friend..............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
  • Age: 49
  • Location: Harmony, PA
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2681 on: October 23, 2015, 09:29:46 AM »
What is the dumbest animal in the jungle? ......... The polar bear.
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 6477
  • Age: 59
  • Location: Beerhaven, Wisconsin
  • After further investigation, I/GT record holder
    • Milwaukee Midget Racing
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2682 on: October 23, 2015, 10:35:44 AM »
Just ate at a Japanese motorcycle themed burger and wine bar called the "Cow 'N' Sake".
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline 4-barrel Mike

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3014
  • Age: 71
  • Location: Portland, OR
  • Any fool can drive a V8
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2683 on: October 23, 2015, 12:41:11 PM »
Halloween-ish for computer old-timers:

What do you get when you combine Lee Iacocca and Count Dracula? 

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

autoexec.bat

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
  • Age: 49
  • Location: Harmony, PA
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2684 on: October 23, 2015, 12:49:49 PM »
Halloween-ish for computer old-timers:

What do you get when you combine Lee Iacocca and Count Dracula? 

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

autoexec.bat

Mike

Love it!

Haven't seen one of those since I used Quarterdeck memory management tools! Spent lots of time in my autoexec.bat and my config.sys too!!!
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.