Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 919410 times)

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Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2595 on: August 21, 2015, 11:39:18 AM »
Oh, eye see what you are saying !!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2596 on: August 21, 2015, 11:51:25 AM »
Just don`t make a spectacle of yourself Monte...................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2597 on: August 21, 2015, 11:54:13 AM »
Stainless
I've heard of "farsightedness" but that is ridiculous.

Ron
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2598 on: August 21, 2015, 02:54:06 PM »
Jerry, I am just trying to be a pupil of the pun!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2599 on: August 21, 2015, 03:21:58 PM »
focus Monte, ..focus
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2600 on: August 21, 2015, 03:51:57 PM »
I am trying, but I recently found out I am bifocal.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2601 on: August 21, 2015, 04:13:23 PM »
And I'll raise you to tri-focal.
Did you hear about the guy that needed an operation on his opti-rectal nerve? That is the one that runs between the eyes and the rectum that gives some people a $hitty outlook on life.

Ron   

Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2602 on: August 21, 2015, 04:37:42 PM »
I am trying, but I recently found out I am bifocal.
  I heard you people can legally marry now........................ ( that was Humor Monte ..calm down ) :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2603 on: August 28, 2015, 06:44:36 AM »
I rented a house to a pair of otters...Now they live in otter-space..............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2604 on: August 28, 2015, 06:45:31 AM »
....and to keep their bagels from being stolen...They put lox on them...................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2605 on: August 28, 2015, 08:46:53 AM »
Ain't easy being a landlord these days.

I rented a house to a pair of otters...Now they live in otter-space..............

You otter know better than that.

....and to keep their bagels from being stolen...They put lox on them...................

See?  Now you've got to change out the lox.

"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

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Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2606 on: August 28, 2015, 09:11:40 AM »
I tried to board an airplane with a dead possum and a dead raccoon I found on the road.  The lady at the gate said....


I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger
 :cheers:
Stainless
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MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2607 on: August 28, 2015, 09:30:22 AM »
...........quite the ...tor-rent of landlord jokes MM :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2608 on: August 28, 2015, 11:06:54 AM »
I tried to board an airplane with a dead possum and a dead raccoon I found on the road.  The lady at the gate said....


I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger
 :cheers:

Those airlines - no sense of humor.

I bought a ticket for my gorilla, but when he tried to board, TSA stopped him at the gate.  I stepped up to the officer, and told him I'd vouch for him, and that we had a Simianic relationship.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2609 on: August 28, 2015, 11:29:29 AM »
No kidding??? I just installed a doorbell  that uses the sound of a gorilla singing about table tennis.   I call it " The King Kong Sing-song- Ping pong - Ding -dong.   (gauntlet tossed )
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.