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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 989948 times)

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Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2535 on: June 05, 2015, 08:14:24 AM »
An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline rouse

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2536 on: June 05, 2015, 09:11:09 AM »
I had a neutron joke, but it wasn't positive.

Rouse
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Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2537 on: June 05, 2015, 09:18:46 AM »
A neutron walks into a bar full of electrons.

The electrons just glared at him.

"I'm sensing a lot of negativity in this room", said the neutron.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

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Offline Rcktscientist

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2538 on: June 05, 2015, 10:00:28 AM »
How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?

You pull down it's genes :-D

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2539 on: June 05, 2015, 11:18:54 AM »
Two people were stranded on an iceberg. Both feeling helpless and trying to figure a way out of their situation.


One of them looks up and shouts, "Hey, it's the Titanic. We're saved".

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2540 on: June 12, 2015, 11:24:30 AM »
I asked my neighbor the math professor how he backs his car out of his curved driveway.


He says, "I derive it in reverse".

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2541 on: June 12, 2015, 12:44:20 PM »
Do you know why the sesame seed could not leave the casino?


Because he was on a roll!

Offline sabat

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2542 on: June 12, 2015, 01:26:59 PM »
Monte, you either have a big book of these jokes, or you should write one.  :cheers:



Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2543 on: June 12, 2015, 03:28:30 PM »
I'd follow up on Monte's first today, but I can't because I got kicked out of math class because of too many infractions.

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2544 on: June 12, 2015, 04:18:43 PM »
A girl in my school was expelled because she decided to multiply. :cheers:

Ron
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Offline sabat

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2545 on: June 12, 2015, 07:52:39 PM »
Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out "We got him!"

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2546 on: June 19, 2015, 10:21:32 AM »
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?


With a pair of Caesars!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2547 on: July 19, 2015, 05:27:10 PM »
Sure is quiet around here..............................................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2548 on: July 19, 2015, 05:29:21 PM »
Holy Sh!t!!!  Welcome back!

 :cheers:

Mike
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline Peter Jack

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2549 on: July 19, 2015, 06:52:02 PM »
Jerry, great to see you on board again! Welcome back, we've been missing you.  :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

Pete