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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 966462 times)

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Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2490 on: April 30, 2015, 09:07:19 PM »
Dropping the jokes for a minute - we haven't heard from Jerry in better than a month.

Jerry - I hope you're okay.

Chris
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2491 on: April 30, 2015, 10:33:45 PM »
I hope you're not complaining.  Almost a month without him pun-ishing us is... is.... well, actually I do miss him too
Jerry?
Jerry?!
In the meantime since there is no one to, ummm... take the bait, let Rodney Dangerfield do it for you with some of the best one liners I've ever heard him say, like (to paraphrase), "I don't want to say she was easy, but her high school yearbook picture was horizontal."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=738VLg7JJ2k
Enjoy... until Jerry gets back.
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Robin UK

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2492 on: May 01, 2015, 02:18:06 AM »
A man walks up to entrance of the London Olympic Stadium carrying a really long case and asks a guard to let him in.

 "Are you a pole-volter?" the guard asks.

 The man replies "No, I'm German actually; but how did you know my name was Walter"

Robin

Offline fordboy628

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2493 on: May 01, 2015, 08:31:30 AM »
Only 4 days until Cinco de Mayo.

I'm wondering, is the de Mayo, the Mexican Titanic?
Science, NOT Magic . . . .

I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein

Offline fordboy628

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2494 on: May 01, 2015, 08:43:29 AM »
My health insurance is so bad I have to go to the Cinco de Mayo Clinic . . . .
Science, NOT Magic . . . .

I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein

Robin UK

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2495 on: May 01, 2015, 10:04:34 AM »
How did the Germans get rid of their aristocracy? Von by Von.

Robin

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2496 on: May 01, 2015, 10:58:02 AM »
A scientist is having a chat with God. The scientist tells God that he is no longer needed as science has progressed to the point that they can grow human organs and
3D print ears, noses and other body parts. God replys by asking the scientist if he is up for a challenge, the scientist says, "Bring it on".  God then says to the scientist, "I challenge you to make a human from dirt".
The scientist says, "No problem". He then bends down and picks up a handfull of dirt. God looks at him and says, "Use your own dirt!".

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2497 on: May 01, 2015, 10:58:54 AM »
I miss Jerry as well.  Hope everything is okay.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2498 on: May 08, 2015, 08:20:45 AM »
This one is for our MIA friend in Michigan - Jerry.

The family next door all have first names that are also names of cities.  Bennington was on the high school football team, Seattle is a cheer leader, Olathe heads up the college debate team, the mother's name is Phoenix.

The old man stopped by after the hardware store had closed.  He was painting the fence and had run short of primer.

He asked if I had any paint, to which I replied,

"I've got a gallon, Kalamazoo".   
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Robin UK

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2499 on: May 08, 2015, 08:59:12 AM »
Here's a bumper sticker for all you Democrat voters out there.

Robin

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2500 on: May 08, 2015, 09:09:47 AM »
Here's a bumper sticker for all you Democrat voters out there.

Robin

My disappointment with Bill was his revelation that he didn't inhale.

It was then that I realized we'd elected a guy so stupid, he didn't even know how to smoke a joint.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline salt27

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2501 on: May 08, 2015, 10:38:10 AM »
Here's a bumper sticker for all you Democrat voters out there.

Robin


That sucks.   :roll:

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2502 on: May 08, 2015, 11:02:17 AM »
Methinks Monica may have blown Hillary's chances.

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2503 on: May 08, 2015, 11:10:54 AM »
He he he. :evil:

Offline salt27

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2504 on: May 08, 2015, 11:20:05 AM »
Methinks Monica may have blown Hillary's chances.

Or it may have given her a HEAD start.  :-D