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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 987677 times)

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Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2160 on: November 28, 2014, 09:13:42 AM »
While Slim had gusts from Canada, we had guests from England over for Thanksgiving.

Hearty eater, Sir Cumference. 

Ate a lot of Pi.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2161 on: November 28, 2014, 09:30:37 AM »
A quick aside about the big winds of yesterday:  Note, if you haven't already, that the wind chill temperature was "only" -59F or so -- even with super-duper high winds.  There's your proof that wind chills don't drop much as wind speeds increase over maybe 35-40 mph.  Here's we've got speeds about 50 times "normal" high winds -- and the temp is only a bit lower.  I also take the wind chill temp as indication that the erroneous wind velocity got into the system before the wind chill algorithm - the machine used the two parameters (V and T) to come up with the chill temp.

The last time I saw this, a year or two ago, the display said something like "Winds NW 15 gusting to 248mph".  Still quite a breeze, hey?
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 (that's way up north)
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2162 on: November 28, 2014, 09:53:55 AM »
Enough of the weather already.....Lets` talk about ME !!!!  ( This is where Chris says something on the order of " Speaking of wind......)
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2163 on: November 28, 2014, 10:00:15 AM »
What is the best way to carve wood???....Whittle by whittle :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2164 on: November 28, 2014, 10:06:29 AM »
Enough of the weather already.....Lets` talk about ME !!!!  ( This is where Chris says something on the order of " Speaking of wind......)

Wow . . . it IS blowing across Lake Michigan from the East-narcist.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2165 on: November 29, 2014, 12:44:02 AM »
If you're a parent, you should always be prepared to answer anything your
kids might ask, no matter how unexpected or shocking.  Here's an example.

Thirteen-year old daughter:  "Daddy, what's fellatio?"

Me:  "That's an Italian word . . . like Pinocchio."

Daughter:  "Oh, so it has something to do with wood?"

Me:  "Yeah, actually."

Offline sofadriver

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2166 on: November 29, 2014, 08:54:28 AM »
It was a typical rainy winter here in Seattle and the midget lady had developed a raw and painful irritation in her crotch. At the doctor's office the nurse told her to take off her rain hat and raincoat, get on the table with her feet in the stirrups and the doctor would be in momentarily. When he arrived, he asked her about her problem and then stood at the end of the table and dove in under the cover to examine her. After a few moments the midget lady heard a distinct "snip, snip, snip" sound but didn't feel any discomfort. The doctor reappeared and said to get off the table and walk around to see if she felt better. "Oh, doctor!" she said. "That feels wonderful! What did you do?" The doc replied "Oh, it was no problem. I just cut 3 inches off the tops of your galoshes."

 :-D
Mike in Tacoma

"aww, what the hell - let's just do it".............

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2167 on: December 04, 2014, 12:23:55 PM »
less than 12 hours until we are back on the rails :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2168 on: December 04, 2014, 02:02:21 PM »
I thought you started this morning on the "chunkin pumkin" post. :cheers: :cheers:

Ron
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2169 on: December 04, 2014, 08:26:34 PM »
Jerry, if I was a fish I would be waiting with baited breath...  :cheers:
Stainless
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Offline Elmo Rodge

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2170 on: December 04, 2014, 09:11:21 PM »
If I were a fish with arms I'd be cutting my wrists after that one.  :roll: Wayno

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2171 on: December 05, 2014, 06:51:13 AM »
How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?????...With a Steak to the heart............ :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2172 on: December 05, 2014, 06:52:27 AM »
Know why you never see a hippoptamus hiding in a tree??? ....Because they are real good at it...............................................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2173 on: December 05, 2014, 08:35:45 AM »
I was walking my dog through the cemetary this morning when I noticed a man behind one of the headstones.
"Morning" says I.
He replies, "No, I am just taking a Subaru".

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2174 on: December 05, 2014, 09:02:17 AM »
Maybe he was making coffee using burial grounds??? :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.