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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 987674 times)

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Offline Rcktscientist

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2115 on: October 31, 2014, 10:25:24 AM »
One for the women...

What do you call a mushroom with a 9 inch stem?

A funghi to be with.

Offline Rcktscientist

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2116 on: October 31, 2014, 11:06:09 AM »
Another for the ladies,

A gal asked me why I wasn't married, to which I replied "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" She quickly replied that she understood and said "Why buy a whole pig when all you need is a little sausage?"

Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2117 on: October 31, 2014, 11:23:55 AM »
Nice, guys. Thanks. :-D :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2118 on: October 31, 2014, 11:35:30 AM »
Why do witches wear name tags?

So you can tell whitch witch is whitch!

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2119 on: October 31, 2014, 12:18:42 PM »
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?


Because demons are a ghouls best friend.

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2120 on: November 01, 2014, 12:16:58 AM »
At a restaurant, my two brothers headed for the men's room.  I had to pee,
but I didn't want to go in there.  I didn't want to end up in a circle jerk.  But then I
realized, that was a stupid thing to be afraid of.  It would be a TRIANGLE jerk!  Duh!

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2121 on: November 01, 2014, 12:25:37 AM »
The Biker and the Old Lady . . .

A big, dumb, but fairly good looking biker stops by the Harley shop to have his bike fixed.  They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

He needed to do some shopping, so on the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil.  Next, he stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.  However, he now had a problem:  how to carry all these things home.

The feed store owner said, "Put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand."
"Hey, thanks!" the biker said, and out the door he went.

In the parking lot, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. You can follow me through my short cut down this alley.  We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.  How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

"Holy smokes, Lady!" the biker said.  "I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose.  How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
"Well," the lady said, "set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
« Last Edit: November 01, 2014, 12:29:26 AM by tallguy »

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2122 on: November 01, 2014, 12:32:28 AM »
A skeleton enters a saloon and says to the bartender:

I'd like a beer . . . and a mop!

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2123 on: November 01, 2014, 12:33:38 AM »
A termite enters a saloon, and asks:

Where's the bar tender?

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2124 on: November 01, 2014, 12:37:26 AM »
My brother won a prune-eating contest.

I said "David, you're a superstar!"

He replied "Nah, I'm just a regular guy."

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2125 on: November 01, 2014, 12:39:46 AM »
I just read an article on the dangers of drinking, that scared the HELL out of me!

That does it!

After today, no more reading!

Offline tallguy

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2126 on: November 01, 2014, 12:41:49 AM »
I heard that Cher is gonna get herself cloned.

It'll be Cher and Cher Alike.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2127 on: November 06, 2014, 04:16:06 PM »
Just a reminder.... TOMORROW is Stoopid Joke Floyd-Jer... errr... ummm Friday
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2128 on: November 07, 2014, 06:51:19 AM »
let me show you how this works.........................A frog parked in no-parking zone and his car was... toad. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2129 on: November 07, 2014, 06:58:18 AM »
What does a mother broom say to her baby brooms???   " Time for you to go to sweep " :wink:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.