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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 945980 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2085 on: October 17, 2014, 07:44:54 AM »
I `m so old that everytime I see a young girl my heart races and my pacemaker opens the garage door..............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2086 on: October 17, 2014, 07:47:11 AM »
Speaking of old....This old guy is sitting in his wheel chair outside the nursing home when a bird lands and takes a dump on his head. His nurse attendant tells him to sit still and she will go get some toilet papar. the old geezer says " Don`t bother, By the time you return that bird will be a mile away........... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2087 on: October 17, 2014, 08:56:44 AM »
What sport do you play with a Wombat?





Wom.

Robin UK

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2088 on: October 17, 2014, 09:26:49 AM »
I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox

So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness".

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."


Robin

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2089 on: October 17, 2014, 09:30:12 AM »
What sport do you play with a Wombat?





Wom. I played that in school...The object is to hit him in his ...meat-balls
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2090 on: October 17, 2014, 09:47:17 AM »
What sport do you play with a Wombat?





Wom. I played that in school...The object is to hit him in his ...meat-balls
Jerry, I remember reading about you in Sports Illustrated, as the Wom state champion in Michigan. As I recall you are still the only person to make a hole in one!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2091 on: October 17, 2014, 10:41:16 AM »
Wasn`t me Monte...I played  the sport of Golf-wrestling.......won an award for "Closest to the pin "
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2092 on: October 17, 2014, 11:17:24 AM »
A guy showed up at a Haloween party with a woman laying over his shoulders like a shawl.
The host says, "I give up, what are you dressed up as"?
The guy replies,"I am a tortoise".
host, "ok, but what is with the woman"?
guy, "oh, this is Michelle".

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2093 on: October 17, 2014, 01:51:32 PM »
...............was he a pirate????
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2094 on: October 17, 2014, 02:19:52 PM »
I guess I should have spelled her name.....Myshell!!

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2095 on: October 23, 2014, 10:14:28 PM »
I know, I know, it's a Bit early (at least here on the Big Rock, Wobbly), but.....  Let The Thread Begin!

* * * NEWS FLASH * * *

Nancy Pelosi Sues Washington General Hospital for Mal Practice

It seems her husband went in for surgery, and ever since he has had no (as in None At All) desire for sex!  (Can you believe it?)
So Nancy wants some compensation.





Oh, did I mention - hubby was in for cataract surgery and the operation was a complete success!




3, 2, 1.... Go!
« Last Edit: October 23, 2014, 10:16:17 PM by fastesthonda_jim »
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2096 on: October 24, 2014, 07:19:33 AM »
what do you get when you cross a stream and a brook???......Wet feet :roll:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline bbarn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2097 on: October 24, 2014, 07:22:26 AM »
Cat puns freak meowt. Seriously, I am not kitten!
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2098 on: October 24, 2014, 07:25:38 AM »
Is a Fortune Teller`s dance a crystal ball??
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2099 on: October 24, 2014, 07:26:55 AM »
Cat puns freak meowt. Seriously, I am not kitten!
Those were purr-fect
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.