Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 868171 times)

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Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1995 on: August 01, 2014, 12:07:11 PM »
trickydicky........right answer!

Offline TrickyDicky

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1996 on: August 01, 2014, 01:51:57 PM »
 :cheers:  :cheers:  :cheers:

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1997 on: August 08, 2014, 07:32:17 AM »
In light of the weather to my west.............................I hear it rained cats and dogs...Hopefully no reindeer..............speaking of raining cats and dogs..Try not to step in the poodles... :cheers:   Maybe you guys could walk around on a stack of old books??? The Tomes that Dry Men`s Soles..????? :?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1998 on: August 08, 2014, 10:17:20 AM »
As I think about it, this does give new meaning to the term being "waved" off by the starter.

Jerry, I may try to float some new jokes by you today, they could possibly launch you in a new direction.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1999 on: August 08, 2014, 12:33:08 PM »
Monte.....Why knot????..( I know...rudderly ridiculous) :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2000 on: August 08, 2014, 01:14:06 PM »
Jerry, you keel me with these one liners!  Every once in a while, one sails over my head.

Offline aut0m4tic

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2001 on: August 08, 2014, 04:07:11 PM »
Boy... dredging them up from the deep.

Online Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2002 on: August 08, 2014, 08:48:33 PM »
I do knot think this line of jokes will help anchor the Friday thread.  Most folks will coil in fear that it will stay in this list.  Let's lock our gimbals, change our heading and plot a new course...
Stainless
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MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2003 on: August 08, 2014, 09:46:09 PM »
Done a fair amount of sailing in my time.  Saw a LOT of stainless over the years.  Didn't (thankfully) have to listen to ANY of it though.  If I had had to listen to this, I probably would have walked the plank all on my own - ("lock our gimbals"???)
Arrrrgh!
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Offline RidgeRunner

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2004 on: August 14, 2014, 11:07:23 PM »
     Loose gear adrift sounding............... :roll:

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2005 on: August 15, 2014, 08:13:48 AM »
From my sister in Switzerland:

"
She checked into a motel on her 65th birthday and was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony, a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a silver dollar off his well-oiled bum. She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.  she pickd up the phone and started dialing.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you? " Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready! Now how does that sound?" He said, 
 
"That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
 
 
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2006 on: August 15, 2014, 08:14:15 AM »
I got my arm broken in two places.....Doctor says I should stay out of those places.................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2007 on: August 15, 2014, 08:15:40 AM »
Guy walks into a bar carrying a chunk of asphalt...says " two beers...One for me and one for the road..... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2008 on: August 15, 2014, 08:16:59 AM »
Know how to keep bacon from curling????...Take away their little brooms :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline USFRAMONTE

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #2009 on: August 15, 2014, 09:49:36 AM »
Carnac the Magnificant
Holds the sealed envelope to his forehead........."The answer is: Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, and Speedweek 2014".