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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 1198111 times)

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Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1875 on: May 30, 2014, 01:48:38 PM »
Hey -- did you hear about the constipated plumber?  He worked it out with a pipe wrench.
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Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1876 on: May 30, 2014, 01:56:33 PM »
Strange, my plumber uses a snake.   :mrgreen:

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Offline jdincau

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1877 on: May 30, 2014, 02:15:01 PM »
My accountant uses a pencil.
Unless it's crazy, ambitious and delusional, it's not worth our time!

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1878 on: May 30, 2014, 02:21:58 PM »
Back in the olden days a constipated scientist would have worked it out with a slide rule.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline 4-barrel Mike

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1879 on: May 30, 2014, 02:38:15 PM »
The local metal-fab guy uses a hammer and a Dolly.
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1880 on: May 30, 2014, 03:28:33 PM »
Just got home from fishing......................My buddy tried to show me pics of his kids and I dropped his wallet into the lake....a big ol` fish came by and grabbed it...he swam a few feet and passed it to another fish....Who then swam a few feet and passed it off again.  First time in my 56 years I`ve ever seen.....  Carp to carp- walleting.  (whole new scale to this thread)
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stan Back

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1881 on: May 31, 2014, 10:17:57 AM »
That one floored me.
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Offline RidgeRunner

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1882 on: May 31, 2014, 11:10:13 AM »
    Looked, swam, and smelled fishy to me............

                Ed

Offline salt27

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1883 on: May 31, 2014, 11:30:50 AM »
It sounded like a "pile" to me, I'm sure he was "stretching" it a bit.

Offline fastesthonda_jim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1884 on: May 31, 2014, 10:53:14 PM »
Shortest shaggy dog story I've heard in a long time.
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1885 on: June 06, 2014, 07:54:15 AM »
NEWS FLASH....Thieves broke in to the Skandia ,Mich. Police Dept. and stole the toilets.   Cops have nothing to go on................. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1886 on: June 06, 2014, 08:08:34 AM »
Ha, ha, hah!  The joke's on you, Jerry.  There's no such thing as a Skandia Police Department.  The Marquette County Sheriff sends a car down our way once in a while.

Now for a true story:  A few years ago I was talking with one of the deputies ( a brother-in-law of my daughter).  He asked where we live and I told him that we're on the Dukes Road.  He raised his eyebrows and said "We've never been down that road.  Never had a call to go there.  I'll check with the State Troopers and see if they know where it is."

Ah, the beauty of isolation. :cheers:
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1887 on: June 06, 2014, 08:30:09 AM »
Oh yeah??...Well then...A Neutron walks in to a bar and orders a beer....Bartender sets the drink down  and the neutron asks " How much"?  bartender says " For you..??....No charge "
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline bbarn

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1888 on: June 06, 2014, 08:49:35 AM »
Oh yeah??...Well then...A Neutron walks in to a bar and orders a beer....Bartender sets the drink down  and the neutron asks " How much"?  bartender says " For you..??....No charge "

That was positively appropriate for SJF!
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1889 on: June 06, 2014, 09:28:47 AM »
..........I know...This thread feels like ohm to me.................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.