Author Topic: Stupid joke FRIDAY  (Read 2167115 times)

Dakin Engineering, USFRAMONTE and 9 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1710 on: February 14, 2014, 12:03:37 PM »
Monte...Your biting sarcasm eludes me.............. :roll:But if you`re coming to the party? Take the high-way...It`s a main artery :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Online USFRAMONTE

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 692
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1711 on: February 14, 2014, 12:22:13 PM »
At Jerry's party tonight he will also be serving wooden steak, with a bloody good sauce of his own making!

Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1712 on: February 14, 2014, 01:09:30 PM »
PUNOGRAPHY

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro - what a rip off!
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline tauruck

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5127
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1713 on: February 15, 2014, 09:55:45 AM »
Top that Jerry. :-)

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1714 on: February 21, 2014, 08:17:27 AM »
From the "better late than never" file............How did Ebenezer Scrooge score the winning touchdown??.....The Ghost of Christmas passed................. :roll:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1715 on: February 21, 2014, 08:20:47 AM »
I am trying to give up sexual innuendos...but it's hard...REALLY HARD!
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1716 on: February 21, 2014, 09:03:56 AM »
I am trying to give up sexual innuendos...but it's hard...REALLY HARD!
  Just stick it out...........It will come to you............... :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1717 on: February 21, 2014, 09:24:52 AM »
It is just such a prickly subject...its hard to deal with.
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline tauruck

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5127
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1718 on: February 21, 2014, 09:50:37 AM »
Your innuendos are like Spanish suppositories. 8-)

Online USFRAMONTE

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 692
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1719 on: February 21, 2014, 10:19:42 AM »
Jerry does like to poke fun at others!

Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1720 on: February 21, 2014, 10:30:50 AM »
I can see this might lead us into a sticky situation.
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline rouse

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 563
  • Impound is the place to be
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1721 on: February 21, 2014, 11:40:41 AM »
When I got home from work my wife said;

I baked a cake today, do you want a piece?

I said hell yes, and some of that cake too.

Rouse
Johnnie Rouse
Bike 4680 P-PP2000 SCTA record 153.325    A-PF3000 182.920
                              Texas Mile 152.518 PP class  186 A-PF Class
If you love your freedom thank a vet.

Online USFRAMONTE

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 692
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1722 on: February 21, 2014, 03:44:19 PM »
Hey, did I mention that I invented a time machine?  Next week.


Offline bbarn

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1723 on: February 21, 2014, 05:35:32 PM »
Hey, did I mention that I invented a time machine?  Next week.
Monte - Just a reminder that the meeting on time travel is postponed until two weeks ago.
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Offline floydjer

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4251
  • "There is no duck side of the moon..."
Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #1724 on: February 28, 2014, 09:46:29 AM »
Would  you call a can opener that doesn`t work a " Can`t opener" ? :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.