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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 1120911 times)

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Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #120 on: May 10, 2009, 11:57:14 PM »
No, actually I will be at El Mirage thinking about barbecued Glen on a stick.  :mrgreen:
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Offline Glen

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #121 on: May 11, 2009, 09:04:37 AM »
Dean, I will be there and Willie and Sheri are doing the cooking. I'm so old  and the skin is thick so I am off the menu. How ever I will pick up some road kill along the way so you can have something to eat, LIKE CROW!!!! :evil:
« Last Edit: May 11, 2009, 10:35:10 AM by Glen »
Glen
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South West, Utah

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #122 on: May 11, 2009, 10:11:44 AM »
Glen, I'll have to admit I admire your modesty about having tough ol' skin and therefore being no good for eating.  I won't comment.  As for what we'll be doing next Sunday -- I hope to be admiring a "new record" certificate that I get from a pass on the production bike.  I'll be sorely missing Nancy, though -- she's got to stay at home and work at Lowe's.  At least she's been promised the June Maxton event off.

As for jokes -- did I report that the jokes I got off this thread last Wednesday went over very well at the Range Engineers Club meeting.  Thanks to all that provided the witty humor and thoughtful insight.

HAH!
Jon E. Wennerberg
 a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
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Owner of landracing.com

Offline theazoldcrow

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #123 on: May 11, 2009, 02:33:08 PM »
If any of you will be eating CROW at El Mirage I'd sure like to meet you first!! :roll: :roll: :-D    Crow
The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!

Offline John Noonan

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #124 on: May 11, 2009, 02:59:29 PM »
If any of you will be eating CROW at El Mirage I'd sure like to meet you first!! :roll: :roll: :-D    Crow

Crow, that was funny..

Did you ever fix that starter?  And I don't mean Jim Jensen.. :cheers:


J

Offline theazoldcrow

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #125 on: May 11, 2009, 03:23:49 PM »
 :-D John, still have the new one in the box.  Found some grounding issues with the sol.  Still waitin for it to take a complete poo-poo before I chaange it out.  Bye the way,  Thanks for askin????  BCNU soon       Crow
The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!

Offline theazoldcrow

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #126 on: May 11, 2009, 03:25:48 PM »
John,  also , I think Jim is beyond repair, don't you?  I like him the way he is,,,,,,un-fixable!   Crow
The Earth, is an intergalactic insane asylum.!

Offline Dr Goggles

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Offline Milwaukee Midget

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #128 on: May 11, 2009, 06:32:06 PM »
minor cosmetic damage  :wink::

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=110388109923&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:AU:1123

"This was an awesome bike prior to the makeover........" ??!!??   :roll:

Interesting turn of a phrase.
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!

Online floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #129 on: May 15, 2009, 09:26:41 PM »
A drunk is walking along the bank of the Grand River, swilling a 40 oz of Olde English 800, when he spots a group of well dressed people standing waiste deep in the water. He staggers over by them and a minister turns and says "SINNER....Do you want to find Jesus"?- Drunk says "Sure" The Reverand dips him in the water ,pulls him out and says " Have you found the lord"?--Drunk says  "No"  Reverand dips him again.....Same question/same answer. Rev. dunks him a third time and asks "NOW..Have you found your savior  the Lord"?!! Drunk says " Are you SURE this is where he fell in"?  ( terrible joke for a baptist to tell, But hey....) :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #130 on: May 16, 2009, 08:33:52 AM »
Don't know if this is just a coincidence but....

2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia

2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian horse racing

2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs and infects hundreds of people sometimes fatally around the globe .

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm? 

 
It gets worse........

Next year......


2010 - Chinese year of the Cock ----- What could possibly go wrong? 

Maybe I'll invest in Viagra stock while the prices are down....  :-D

Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline Ron Gibson

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #131 on: May 16, 2009, 08:50:07 AM »
Three women were discussing the nicknames they called their husbands.
The first says "I call mine 2X6 because he has 6 is good twice".
The second says "I call mine  1X8 for the same reason"
The third says "I call mine Jim Beam"
The first says "But that's a likker"
The third says "And what's wrong with that?"
Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.

Offline Gwillard

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #132 on: May 16, 2009, 08:54:37 AM »
A drunk is walking along the bank of the Grand River, swilling a 40 oz of Olde English 800, when he spots a group of well dressed people standing waiste deep in the water. He staggers over by them and a minister turns and says "SINNER....Do you want to find Jesus"?- Drunk says "Sure" The Reverand dips him in the water ,pulls him out and says " Have you found the lord"?--Drunk says  "No"  Reverand dips him again.....Same question/same answer. Rev. dunks him a third time and asks "NOW..Have you found your savior  the Lord"?!! Drunk says " Are you SURE this is where he fell in"?  ( terrible joke for a baptist to tell, But hey....) :cheers:

Good one! Everytime I hear or read that joke I can envision Foster Brooks and Dean Martin standing in waist deep water, but i don't think they ever made a skit of it.
Will weld for beer :cheers:

Online floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #133 on: May 22, 2009, 07:17:35 AM »
Woman walks into the kitchen and  there stands her husband with a fly swatter. She asks what he`s doing  and he answers " Hunting" . She asks..."Killing any"? He says " Two males , Eleven females" She says " How do you tell them apart"?....."Males were on a beer can.....Females were on the phone......." :wink:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Dean Los Angeles

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #134 on: May 22, 2009, 09:59:13 AM »
Three samurais were competing for the emperors daughter.

After many rounds of competition all were dead even.
The final round consisted of a sword and a fly.
The first samurai swiftly cut the fly in two.
The second samurai quartered the fly with two phenomenally fast strokes.
The third samurai swung at the fly. It continued on flying.
"He missed!"
"Ah, not correct. The fly will never again reproduce."
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.