I know we have some engineers and pilots who read this, and while it's a tad off topic, I wish I could say I came up with them. It's from a post I receive regarding moving to New Zealand. Source -
http://www.nukiwi.com WHO SAYS ENGINEERS ARE NO FUN?
When these quotes crossed our desk, we knew we had to share
them with you. And even though it technically
involves an Australian company (arch rival of Air New
Zealand no less), many of the engineers involved are Kiwis.
Despite their distant sibling differences, one thing Aussies
and Kiwis both enjoy is a good joke. Here's a
unique insight into their special brand of humour.
Airline pilots are expected to log their complaints
and observations for ground crew engineers to address and
fix. The engineers then log their responses and the
actions taken. Here are a few of the log excerpts.
P= Problem (the pilot's comments)
S= Solution (the engineer's answer)
P -- Left inside tire almost needs replacement.
S -- Almost repaired left inside tire.
P -- Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S -- Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P -- No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S -- No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3, & 4
propellers lack normal seepage.
P -- Something loose in cockpit.
S -- Something tightened in cockpit.
P -- Dead bugs on windshield.
S -- Live bugs on order.
P -- Number 3 engine missing.
S -- Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P -- Aircraft handles funny.
S -- Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
be serious.
P -- Target radar hums.
S -- Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P -- Mouse in cockpit.
S -- Cat installed.
P -- DME volume unbelievably loud.
S -- DME volume set to more believable level.
P -- IFF inoperative.
S -- IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P -- Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S -- Evidence removed.
P -- Suspected crack in windshield.
S -- Suspect you're right.
