Author Topic: I`ll just leave this here....  (Read 64340 times)

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Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #60 on: December 17, 2019, 06:28:03 PM »
Me thinks this guy is a youpper!  :cheers:

Diary of a Snow Shoveler
 
December 8:   6:00 PM.  It started to snow.  The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.  It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.  So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.  I love snow!

December 9:  We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.  What a fantastic sight!  Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World?  Moving here was the best idea I've ever had.  Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again.  I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.  What a perfect life.

December 12:  The sun has melted all our lovely snow.  Such a disappointment.  My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas.  No snow on Christmas would be awful!  Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.  I don't think that's possible.  Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14:  Snow, lovely snow!  8" last night.  The temperature dropped to -20.  The cold makes everything sparkle so.  The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.  This is the life!  The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.  I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.  I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15:  20 inches forecast.  Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.  Bought snow tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels.  Stocked the freezer.  The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.  I think that's silly.  We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16:   Ice storm this morning.  Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.  Hurt like hell.  The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17:  Still way below freezing.  Roads are too icy to go anywhere.  Electricity was off for five hours.  I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.  Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.  Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right.  I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20:  Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night.  More shoveling.  Took all day.  Damn snowplow came by twice.  Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.  I think they're lying.  Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower, and they're out.  Might have another shipment in March.  I think they're lying.  Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.  I think he's lying.

December 22:  Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'til August.  Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel, and then I had to piss.  By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel!  Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on his truck, for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy.  I think the asshole is lying.

December 23:  Only 2" of snow today, and it warmed up to "0".  The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.  What, is she nuts!!!  Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?  She says she did, but I think she's lying.

December 24:  6".  Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.  Thought I was having a heart attack.  If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.  I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over everywhere I've just been!  Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the Goddamn snowplow.

December 25:  Merry F!=3D@x@!x!x1 Christmas.  20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight.  Snowed in.  The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.  God, I hate the snow!  Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.  The wife says I have a bad attitude.  I think she's a fricking idiot.  If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26:  Still snowed in.  Why the hell did I ever move here?  It was all HER idea.  She's really getting on my nerves. 

December 27:  Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze.  Plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28:  Warmed up to above -50.  Still snowed in.  The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29:  10 more inches.  Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.  That's the silliest thing I ever heard.  How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:  Roof caved in.  I beat up the snow plow driver.  He is now suing me for a million dollars; not for only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.  The wife went home to her mother.  9" predicted.

December 31:  I set fire to what's left of the house.  No more shoveling.

January 8:  Feel so good.  I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.  Why am I tied to the bed?

This you Slim?
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline salt27

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #61 on: December 17, 2019, 11:53:15 PM »
Ain't Slim, he's got his own snowplow.    :cheers:

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #62 on: December 18, 2019, 12:34:53 AM »
Maybe when I get to Kudos in the morning I'll post some pretty snow pics fro :clapm the past week or so.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline floydjer

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #63 on: December 18, 2019, 09:27:05 AM »
Bah..Post a pic. of the Snow Pole during the winter of `78-`79.   :?
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #64 on: December 18, 2019, 12:51:22 PM »
This page shows what Jerry is talking when he mentions "snow pole".

https://www.pasty.com/snow/
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
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Offline wobblywalrus

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #65 on: December 18, 2019, 04:06:22 PM »
How high have you seen the snow get during a single storm?

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #66 on: December 18, 2019, 04:14:05 PM »
That's not really an answerable question thanks to drifting from the winds, and also because the snow will pack itself down with its' own weight if it's wet vs dry, and so on.

The greatest snow depth - on the flat ground - is a bit over 4 feet -- maybe 52" or so, if I remember correctly.  Again - it packs down all by itself.

The storm(s) we had during the last week of November brought a couple of big-butt snowfalls -- the first left around 30" at our house Tuesday overnight into Wednesday, and that was followed by another two feet or so that weekend.

I spent a LOT of time moving snow around.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
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Offline wobblywalrus

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #67 on: December 18, 2019, 11:43:58 PM »
That is a lot of snow.  One good thing about being retired is the ability to stay home until it all melts. 

Offline Paulin adelaide

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #68 on: December 19, 2019, 02:40:52 AM »
45.3 celcius    113 fahenheight today in Adelaide South Australia . Tomorrow i am rostered  observer in our local Fire Spotting Tower
« Last Edit: December 19, 2019, 02:43:37 AM by Paulin adelaide »

Offline salt27

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #69 on: December 19, 2019, 12:20:52 PM »
45.3 celcius    113 fahenheight today in Adelaide South Australia . Tomorrow i am rostered  observer in our local Fire Spotting Tower

Rostered observer, or did you mean to say roasted observer.   :-P

I hope that tower has air-conditioning.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #70 on: December 19, 2019, 02:54:53 PM »
Paul
Sounds like good practice for SpeedWeek downunder.... take beer and water...
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, Bockscar Lakester #1000 with a little N2O

Offline WZ JUNK

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #71 on: December 20, 2019, 08:05:31 AM »
A few years ago, I took this photo of my wife standing beside a sign on the U P of Michigan, not far from where Slim lives.  Thats the total amount of snow there during the previous winter.

Crew chief #974 B/BGCC 1953 Studebaker Past Bonneville record holder.

Offline Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #72 on: December 20, 2019, 08:12:03 AM »
WZ, here's a link to more pics of the snow thermometer.  It's on US41, and it looks way better when there are a few feet of snow around it.  Same link as above: 
https://www.pasty.com/snow/
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
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Offline Speed Limit 1000

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #73 on: December 20, 2019, 09:48:40 PM »
Spent 12 of my 20 years in the USAF in Michigan. I was a couple hundred miles south of Slim next to lake Huron our average snow fall was only 84 to 96 inches. If you got a nor'easter off the lake we could get 4 feet over night and go weeks below 20 degrees. If you had a white Christmas you had a chance the same snow would be on the ground at Easter   
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Offline jdincau

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Re: I`ll just leave this here....
« Reply #74 on: December 29, 2019, 02:41:01 PM »
Here's a Marquette-area band for you to enjoy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm7oZDtrOSg&fbclid=IwAR0-NGCnQZbL5vg3AdrCFImJeIGIVqgmx2wSZZgioGytqBoS1jNdFC3FrtY
Damn you Slim it's been a month almost and I still have that tune rattling around in my head (lots of room up there), and now we have 8 inches of snow here in Palmdale 40 miles west of El Mirage for cripes sake.
Unless it's crazy, ambitious and delusional, it's not worth our time!