Landracing Forum

Humor -- stories, links, etc -- may not be right for kids to read! => THE place for (what you think is) funny stuff. => Topic started by: QikNip on December 18, 2018, 01:25:08 PM

Title: Old guy story
Post by: QikNip on December 18, 2018, 01:25:08 PM: One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo and found her 97-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor. I figured that at 97, if he could still have sex... he could also probably fly.
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: Speed Limit 1000 on December 18, 2018, 01:56:30 PM: :cheers:
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: tauruck on December 18, 2018, 02:09:40 PM: 😎😎😎😎
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: 4-barrel Mike on December 18, 2018, 03:24:53 PM: (http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee171/4-BarrelMike/Miscellaneous%20stuff/rotfl.gif)
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: WOODY@DDLLC on December 18, 2018, 04:40:58 PM: This reminds me of some of us! :roll: :roll:

After the honeymoon, John was welding some stuff in the garage for fun.

His new wife, Karen, was standing there by the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally said: "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe you don't need to spend so much of your time out here in your shed and could consider selling some of your machinery and stuff...like your gun collection, fishing gear, boat, [land speed vehicles] and lose all those stupid model airplanes.

And sell all those old motorcycles, and dump that home brewing kit"...

John got a horrified look on his face and silently stared at her.

She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "Nothing...but for a minute there, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife "?? She screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

John replied......... "I wasn't." :x :x
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: tauruck on December 19, 2018, 06:46:36 AM: Woody??????????. There's always a NEW CHAMPION!!!!!!.

Jerry, you lost in a split decision............ :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: floydjer on December 19, 2018, 09:07:26 AM: Oh yea ???? Well , Patti and I were talking one night and she asked if I`d re-marry were she to pass away...I told her the house would be so empty and lonely without a woman so yes.I`d marry again...She wondered if I would let the new Mrs. Floydjer drive her car, Wear her jewelry...I told her that I would as it would be a shame to just let them sit....She asked if I would let the new Floydette use her golf clubs...I told her...." No...She`s left handed and you are right handed" :evil:
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: tauruck on December 19, 2018, 11:24:37 AM: Rematch!!!!!!
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: floydjer on December 19, 2018, 02:08:29 PM: don`t make me break out the heavy artillery Mike ( check yer P.M.`S) :cheers:
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: Ron Gibson on December 19, 2018, 03:44:06 PM: Why can't the rest of us see too :? :? :? :? :? :? :?

Ron
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: WOODY@DDLLC on December 19, 2018, 06:50:17 PM: Thanks Mike but even if I could bring some really big guns to bear it would still be the death of a million small cuts going up against the Jer! :cry: :-o :-D
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: floydjer on December 20, 2018, 08:53:30 AM: Quote from: Ron Gibson on December 19, 2018, 03:44:06 PM
Why can't the rest of us see too :? :? :? :? :? :? :?

Ron
Because Ol` Jer has an un-written rule...Never post anything in the joke threads that you wouldn`t want Sparky`s grandkids to see. :cheers:
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: Crackerman on December 20, 2018, 10:20:46 AM: My wife had always told me, if I won the lottery, she is gonna take half and leave. So last week I came home handed her $11.50, with reciept and told her to pack her crap.
Title: Re: Old guy story
Post by: tallguy on April 25, 2024, 02:10:53 AM: Quote from: Crackerman on December 20, 2018, 10:20:46 AM
My wife had always told me, if I won the lottery, she is gonna take half and leave. So last week I came home handed her $11.50, with reciept and told her to pack her crap.

Good one. If I see you on the salt at Speedweek 2024, I'll offer you a beer. I'll be the one in a "desert sand"-colored
Toyota truck that appears to be missing most of its left front fender. I'll bring beer and soda to give to my land speed racing
friends (and acquaintances) in this community.