Landracing Forum

Humor -- stories, links, etc -- may not be right for kids to read! => THE place for (what you think is) funny stuff. => Topic started by: floydjer on January 04, 2018, 01:43:17 PM

Title: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on January 04, 2018, 01:43:17 PM
Hmmm....
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: 4-barrel Mike on January 04, 2018, 04:29:59 PM
Midget bike? 
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: sofadriver on January 04, 2018, 08:57:13 PM
M.C. Escher ?
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on January 05, 2018, 07:52:15 AM
I shall offer a small hint to all of the mechanical minds...The rear sprockets each have one way sprags in them...Think about it a moment. :wink:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: 4-barrel Mike on January 05, 2018, 08:08:26 AM
How can you tell?  Your eyes be much bigger than mine.   :evil:

Mike
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Ron Gibson on January 05, 2018, 08:55:30 AM
Two speed? Pedal backwards for high speed?

Ron
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on January 05, 2018, 09:06:50 AM
Very good Ron !!...I understand they are common in Asia. :cheers:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on March 13, 2019, 05:26:34 PM
New topic but I like Jerry's title so I'll let it ride.

https://biggeekdad.com/2013/03/irish-news-report/
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on March 14, 2019, 08:23:57 AM
Aye then....did the lassie say her mum`s lorrie got wedged in her Bristol`s lift ?? :cheers:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on March 22, 2019, 10:21:32 AM
….OK
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on March 22, 2019, 02:18:45 PM
D*mn photoshop
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on March 26, 2019, 09:49:19 AM
NFW
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: handyguy on March 26, 2019, 02:53:30 PM
SO , how did it get up there , I presume it  digs itself  DOWN !!!
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on March 26, 2019, 03:57:38 PM
I'd guess that the excavator got there by clever use of Photoshop. :wink:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: handyguy on March 26, 2019, 08:36:39 PM
Well they got the shadows in the right direction  ..
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: WOODY@DDLLC on March 27, 2019, 08:14:06 AM
The real fun starts about 2:50
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CA1YVzFhLCc
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on March 27, 2019, 10:23:07 AM
They drove it up there from the inside.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: handyguy on March 27, 2019, 02:29:25 PM
This is a bit hard to visualize , up the stairs , elevator , a really big DUMB waiter  ??
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: 4-barrel Mike on March 27, 2019, 03:39:45 PM
... I presume it  digs itself  DOWN !!!

How good is the operator to get the debris into a dump truck?  :mrgreen:

Mike

Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on March 28, 2019, 08:01:29 AM
Large holes in the floors and plenty of large timber cribbing..Or so the story goes. It`s China so my guess is it`s real.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....Part 2!!
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on March 29, 2019, 12:25:38 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V9QHBgrPNY&feature=youtu.be&t=8
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on April 04, 2019, 01:38:32 PM
since the Landracing community is awash w/ bright minds...count from 1 to 100...How many times does the number 5 occur ???
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Elmo Rodge on April 04, 2019, 02:50:25 PM
Once.  :-D
Wayno
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on April 04, 2019, 05:43:06 PM
^^^  So close...………..
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Elmo Rodge on April 04, 2019, 06:09:41 PM
 :?
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stan Back on April 04, 2019, 08:29:00 PM
I counted by 20's – it never appeared.

Then I tried dozens – overshot the objective and still no 5.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on April 05, 2019, 07:54:21 AM
Sigh....Patti got it right in about 7 seconds. 5,15,25  etc.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Elmo Rodge on April 05, 2019, 09:13:43 AM
Fifteen isn't five. It's fifteen. Twenty five isn't five. It's twenty five. Five is five.  :cheers:
Wayno
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on April 05, 2019, 10:29:50 AM
Wayno..... :? Does the number 5 occur in either of them?
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Elmo Rodge on April 05, 2019, 11:20:21 AM
OK. 11. :roll:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on April 05, 2019, 11:43:25 AM
….?...20.   5,15,25,35,45,50,51,52,53,54,55  (two of them)56,57,58,59,65,75,85,95.  My bride is way smarter than I am.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on April 08, 2019, 12:45:54 PM
OK then
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on April 25, 2019, 08:10:29 AM
ooops
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: WOODY@DDLLC on April 25, 2019, 09:47:45 AM
OMG a LIDNOTITE!  :-o :-D
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Mike Borders on April 25, 2019, 01:50:48 PM
Or a SHAKER  *snark*   :evil:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on May 09, 2019, 08:52:55 AM
Young Stainless????
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on June 01, 2019, 03:45:02 PM
Grand fun
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on June 14, 2019, 09:45:54 AM
daughter?  maybe...
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on June 18, 2019, 08:10:39 AM
Grandfather perhaps??
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on June 18, 2019, 09:06:11 AM
Okay - I'll ask it. 

Is that propellor an optical delusion or is it kinda backwards-looking?
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: manta22 on June 18, 2019, 09:54:45 AM
Okay - I'll ask it. 

Is that propellor an optical delusion or is it kinda backwards-looking?

Maybe, maybe not- it depends on which way the engine rotates. Kinda breezy cockpit.

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on June 18, 2019, 12:09:46 PM
and it achieved 67 MPH ?!!..?? :|  For those who delight in such absurdity   www.douglas-self.com has endless pages of that sort of thing. :cheers:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on June 24, 2019, 07:46:53 AM
has to be related
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on July 05, 2019, 01:45:24 PM
Not a bad joke or random Franklin bashing...?.Patti retires today after 43 years of radiology. Wish me luck. :cheers:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: jdincau on July 05, 2019, 02:18:33 PM
When I retired, Mary said "I married him for better or worse, not home for lunch"!
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stainless1 on July 05, 2019, 11:36:03 PM
Not a bad joke or random Franklin bashing...?.Patti retires today after 43 years of radiology. Wish me luck. :cheers:

I always wondered why she had the glow about her...
Looks like no more free x-rays for you...

Linda has been retired for almost 8 years... and I'm still alive... but she does watch a lot of those shows that tell you what mistake the murderer made to get caught...  :| 
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on August 28, 2019, 06:07:31 PM
Unh, mmm --yeah, the tie rod end just might not look like the picture, for sure.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on September 03, 2019, 03:18:39 PM
I dunno Jon...last time I replaced a tie rod end, I threw out a disc...?????... :friday
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on September 06, 2019, 08:59:42 AM
Hmm...I guess you don`t like the caliper of my humor.... :cheers:O.K...I`ll stop... :clap
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: ggl205 on September 06, 2019, 09:47:06 AM
No! I don?t want this discussion to fade because it became too overheated.

John
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on September 06, 2019, 09:51:50 AM
I could try to drum up some activity, Jer - yanno, ratchet it up a bit, maybe start lining them up for you. 
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stainless1 on November 01, 2019, 10:41:02 PM
As a friendly reminder most of us slide out of DST in the very near future...
Just be glad you don't have this job...  :cheers:  aktion086
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: RidgeRunner on November 02, 2019, 05:36:37 AM
     Moving 'em in the wrong direction in the Fall - must come from driving on the other side of the road........... :-D

Ed
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stainless1 on November 02, 2019, 09:00:34 AM
Well yea... they have to move them back tonight... otherwise we wouldn't have a picture  :laugh:   :laugh:  :laugh:  :naughty
 :cheers:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on November 20, 2019, 10:44:43 AM
I had nothing to do w/ this..
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: wheelrdealer on November 20, 2019, 01:05:59 PM
I had nothing to do w/ this..

I have to give them some points for style and imagination!  Safety not so much.

BR
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on December 06, 2019, 01:14:56 PM
Here's a Marquette-area band for you to enjoy.  They've been playing for a good bunch of years -- this song is pretty much what they do.  It includes a few (!) U P things that might need explaining, like the photo of "Karl" -- the longtime TV weatherman up here.  Heikki Lunta is pretty much a good translation into Finnglish (the local argot, if you will) of the name of the country singer -- Hank Snow.  Ya get my drift here?

Turn on the sound and wish you were here, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm7oZDtrOSg&fbclid=IwAR0-NGCnQZbL5vg3AdrCFImJeIGIVqgmx2wSZZgioGytqBoS1jNdFC3FrtY
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: jdincau on December 08, 2019, 11:40:45 AM
I think the pictures show why my dad was proud to be FROM the upper peninsula (Iron River, MI). We went there often on vacation but never in the winter. Like the band though.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stainless1 on December 08, 2019, 12:00:23 PM
Yea... yea... sure those youppers always exaggerate their snow... one of the times I went up there to work the USAF coordinator called in the morning just as I was leaving for the UP and said they had 4 feet of snow the night before... didn't cancel the trip, just being sure I was prepared.... like I said they always exaggerate... got up there and found out they only got 47 inches....  :roll:
 :cheers:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Rcktscientist on December 17, 2019, 01:14:00 PM
Was flirting with a gal at the bar the other night. Was going really well when she asked "Boxers or Briefs?" I coyly answered "Depends". She left shortly after....
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: WOODY@DDLLC on December 17, 2019, 05:28:03 PM
Me thinks this guy is a youpper!  :cheers:

Diary of a Snow Shoveler
 
December 8:   6:00 PM.  It started to snow.  The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.  It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.  So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.  I love snow!

December 9:  We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.  What a fantastic sight!  Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World?  Moving here was the best idea I've ever had.  Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again.  I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.  What a perfect life.

December 12:  The sun has melted all our lovely snow.  Such a disappointment.  My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas.  No snow on Christmas would be awful!  Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.  I don't think that's possible.  Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14:  Snow, lovely snow!  8" last night.  The temperature dropped to -20.  The cold makes everything sparkle so.  The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.  This is the life!  The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.  I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.  I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15:  20 inches forecast.  Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.  Bought snow tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels.  Stocked the freezer.  The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.  I think that's silly.  We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16:   Ice storm this morning.  Fell on my Acura on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.  Hurt like hell.  The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17:  Still way below freezing.  Roads are too icy to go anywhere.  Electricity was off for five hours.  I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.  Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.  Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right.  I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20:  Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the Dodge stuff last night.  More shoveling.  Took all day.  Dodge snowplow came by twice.  Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.  I think they're lying.  Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower, and they're out.  Might have another shipment in March.  I think they're lying.  Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.  I think he's lying.

December 22:  Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the white Subaru fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'til August.  Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel, and then I had to Plymouth.  By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel!  Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on his truck, for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy.  I think the Alfa is lying.

December 23:  Only 2" of snow today, and it warmed up to "0".  The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.  What, is she nuts!!!  Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?  She says she did, but I think she's lying.

December 24:  6".  Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.  Thought I was having a heart attack.  If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.  I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over everywhere I've just been!  Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the Goddamn snowplow.

December 25:  Merry F!=3D@x@!x!x1 Christmas.  20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight.  Snowed in.  The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.  God, I hate the snow!  Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.  The wife says I have a bad attitude.  I think she's a fricking idiot.  If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26:  Still snowed in.  Why the hell did I ever move here?  It was all HER idea.  She's really getting on my nerves. 

December 27:  Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze.  Plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28:  Warmed up to above -50.  Still snowed in.  The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29:  10 more inches.  Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.  That's the silliest thing I ever heard.  How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:  Roof caved in.  I beat up the snow plow driver.  He is now suing me for a million dollars; not for only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his Acura.  The wife went home to her mother.  9" predicted.

December 31:  I set fire to what's left of the house.  No more shoveling.

January 8:  Feel so good.  I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.  Why am I tied to the bed?

This you Slim?
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: salt27 on December 17, 2019, 10:53:15 PM
Ain't Slim, he's got his own snowplow.    :cheers:
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on December 17, 2019, 11:34:53 PM
Maybe when I get to Kudos in the morning I'll post some pretty snow pics fro :clapm the past week or so.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on December 18, 2019, 08:27:05 AM
Bah..Post a pic. of the Snow Pole during the winter of `78-`79.   :?
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on December 18, 2019, 11:51:22 AM
This page shows what Jerry is talking when he mentions "snow pole".

https://www.pasty.com/snow/
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: wobblywalrus on December 18, 2019, 03:06:22 PM
How high have you seen the snow get during a single storm?
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on December 18, 2019, 03:14:05 PM
That's not really an answerable question thanks to drifting from the winds, and also because the snow will pack itself down with its' own weight if it's wet vs dry, and so on.

The greatest snow depth - on the flat ground - is a bit over 4 feet -- maybe 52" or so, if I remember correctly.  Again - it packs down all by itself.

The storm(s) we had during the last week of November brought a couple of big-butt snowfalls -- the first left around 30" at our house Tuesday overnight into Wednesday, and that was followed by another two feet or so that weekend.

I spent a LOT of time moving snow around.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: wobblywalrus on December 18, 2019, 10:43:58 PM
That is a lot of snow.  One good thing about being retired is the ability to stay home until it all melts. 
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Paulin adelaide on December 19, 2019, 01:40:52 AM
45.3 celcius    113 fahenheight today in Adelaide South Australia . Tomorrow i am rostered  observer in our local Fire Spotting Tower
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: salt27 on December 19, 2019, 11:20:52 AM
45.3 celcius    113 fahenheight today in Adelaide South Australia . Tomorrow i am rostered  observer in our local Fire Spotting Tower

Rostered observer, or did you mean to say roasted observer.   :-P

I hope that tower has air-conditioning.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stainless1 on December 19, 2019, 01:54:53 PM
Paul
Sounds like good practice for SpeedWeek downunder.... take beer and water...
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: WZ JUNK on December 20, 2019, 07:05:31 AM
A few years ago, I took this photo of my wife standing beside a sign on the U P of Michigan, not far from where Slim lives.  Thats the total amount of snow there during the previous winter.

Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Seldom Seen Slim on December 20, 2019, 07:12:03 AM
WZ, here's a link to more pics of the snow thermometer.  It's on US41, and it looks way better when there are a few feet of snow around it.  Same link as above: 
https://www.pasty.com/snow/
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Speed Limit 1000 on December 20, 2019, 08:48:40 PM
Spent 12 of my 20 years in the USAF in Michigan. I was a couple hundred miles south of Slim next to lake Huron our average snow fall was only 84 to 96 inches. If you got a nor'easter off the lake we could get 4 feet over night and go weeks below 20 degrees. If you had a white Christmas you had a chance the same snow would be on the ground at Easter   
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: jdincau on December 29, 2019, 01:41:01 PM
Here's a Marquette-area band for you to enjoy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm7oZDtrOSg&fbclid=IwAR0-NGCnQZbL5vg3AdrCFImJeIGIVqgmx2wSZZgioGytqBoS1jNdFC3FrtY
Dodge you Slim it's been a month almost and I still have that tune rattling around in my head (lots of room up there), and now we have 8 inches of snow here in Palmdale 40 miles west of El Mirage for cripes sake.
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stan Back on December 29, 2019, 06:04:54 PM
. . .a month???

That damned Goggles gave us this one years ago and I still can't get rid of it . . .

www.youtube.com/watch?v=76LbvnoIDkE
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: Stainless1 on December 29, 2019, 08:37:06 PM
Stan.... are you OK...
A guy your age could fall... and not be able to get up...
Maybe you need a big hat to fall on  lol8
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: salt27 on December 30, 2019, 01:09:18 AM
. . .a month???

That damned Goggles gave us this one years ago and I still can't get rid of it . . .

www.youtube.com/watch?v=76LbvnoIDkE


Stan, thanks for refreshing our memories, NOT.   :-(
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: floydjer on January 17, 2020, 09:12:25 AM
not saying a word.. :-D :-D
Title: Re: I`ll just leave this here....
Post by: manta22 on January 17, 2020, 09:48:29 AM
not saying a word.. :-D :-D

The Ghost of Christmas Past...