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Author Topic: Land Racing Quote Thread  (Read 35752 times)
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fastesthonda_jim
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« Reply #165 on: October 16, 2014, 11:32:43 AM »

Th..th..this is a gr..gre...great j...j...joke.



Should bring down the house if you can do it krecklie
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« Reply #166 on: October 16, 2014, 11:39:34 AM »


Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.     Kaiser Wilhelm


I had no idea that Augusta Victoria was a teetotaler . . .
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"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  rolleyes

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« Reply #167 on: October 16, 2014, 11:42:53 AM »

Jim, I enjoyed Mel Tillis back then - and now, too.  But the way the video ends leaves quite a bit of room for interpretation or ad libbing my own ending.  Yeah, the foot in the grave is a good lead to the punchline -- but I'll have to work on it for a while before I can use it.

Understand that I want to have good audience reaction for my "jokes".  There'll be three of us up there, one at a time, and the winner -- the one that gets the most applause -- winds a big pitcher of beer.  I want the girls that are with me to have that to enjoy - so I can enjoy driving them home. evil evil
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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fastesthonda_jim
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« Reply #168 on: October 16, 2014, 12:49:29 PM »

Yeah, the end is a bit weak.  I first heard it on XM Radio on a comedy channel and it went a bit further, I thought, with Mel finishing it off.
Good Yuk with your presentation.
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2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
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Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
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« Reply #169 on: October 16, 2014, 02:44:28 PM »

Sure tell that racing season and now into the silly season,  grin
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« Reply #170 on: October 24, 2014, 07:30:09 AM »

This isn't quite a quotation, but it is kind of silly.  It's a song written by G.F. Handel, titled "Happy We".  Take a listen - especially to the words.  They're appropriate for a Friday morning with the approach of the weekend.

http://cs536514.vk.me/u4809288/audios/b791bf8f0d57.mp3?extra=EbHnsKwGKqnrAJRyoA9UeDqCt4h0LQU9Nm4msC0V6R-M2Aq26axzpOLA0wE27hMB-wE2AEnY5_ZiTaQ39E0NP_wW-W_6Put4?dl=1
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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« Reply #171 on: October 24, 2014, 07:54:20 AM »

"Page Not Found" Slim. I'd hate to go back and try and find where the slip up is. (long, complicated url)

Pete
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floydjer
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« Reply #172 on: October 28, 2014, 08:12:59 AM »

" Always carry a flask of whiskey in case of snake bite..And furthermore..always carry a snake"   Claude William Dunkenfield
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floydjer
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« Reply #173 on: September 02, 2015, 07:51:19 AM »

My pharmacist asked for my birthdate again....I`ll bet she`s buying me a nice gift.....
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floydjer
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« Reply #174 on: October 09, 2015, 06:53:43 AM »

When ever I have a bad day , I just remember that some people are having babies..............
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
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« Reply #175 on: May 04, 2016, 09:00:48 AM »

duct tape can`t fix stupid...But it can muffle the sound............. cheers
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fordboy628
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GONE FISHIN' . . .




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« Reply #176 on: May 04, 2016, 03:19:30 PM »

"I can explain it to you . . . . .       BUT, I can't understand it for you."


 cheers
F/B
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fordboy628
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GONE FISHIN' . . .




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« Reply #177 on: May 04, 2016, 03:23:24 PM »

"I reserve and respect your right to remain stupid.    I also reserve my right to ignore each and every thing you say."

Unfortunately, I'm using this a lot lately . . . . . .

 cheers
F/B
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I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein
fordboy628
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GONE FISHIN' . . .




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« Reply #178 on: May 04, 2016, 03:39:44 PM »

And, finally:

"I'm not arguing with you.   I'm explaining why I'm right."

I don't use this one much anymore.



I prefer to use this:   "Go argue with my laptop."      Because it is a "disagreement ender."

I'm trying very hard to not "waste" my time and my oxygen, "arguing" with those who dismiss science as just theories, or a passing fad.

 cheers
JeezI'mturningintoMr.Wilsonboy
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I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein
floydjer
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« Reply #179 on: May 12, 2016, 08:29:48 AM »

Stupid people are like glow sticks....They make me want to snap them in the middle and shake the sh*t out of them  `til the light comes on.........
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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