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Author Topic: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread  (Read 259675 times)
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fordboy628
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GONE FISHIN' . . .




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« Reply #900 on: October 31, 2017, 07:32:51 AM »

From my son-in-law... "If you make it idiot proof, they'll just make a better idiot'".


x2

Something I deal with every day I'm at the drag shop . . . . . . . . . . .

Sample question while "inspecting" 4 out of 8 spark plugs with melted side electrodes:   "Do you think my mixture could be too lean?"

 Dead Horse Dead Horse Dead Horse
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I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein
fordboy628
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GONE FISHIN' . . .




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« Reply #901 on: October 31, 2017, 07:35:52 AM »

Just for Halloween:

What costume does a cow wear on Halloween?       A Moo-me, of course!!

 Dead Horse
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I used to be a people person.  But people changed that relationship.

"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."     Albert Einstein
floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #902 on: October 31, 2017, 07:46:33 AM »

My school did not offer this course.....


* 1 hj.jpg (64.89 KB, 720x540 - viewed 146 times.)
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
WOODY@DDLLC
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ECTA made it to AK!


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« Reply #903 on: October 31, 2017, 11:08:25 AM »

Mark Twain said something to the effect, "You can't make something idiot proof - the idiots are too damned devious!"  shocked grin
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All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
Podunk
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« Reply #904 on: November 02, 2017, 06:07:25 PM »

Some are home schooled.
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #905 on: November 09, 2017, 12:04:43 PM »

I just heard on the news that a midget had his pocket picked....How could anyone stoop so low Huh? cheers
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salt27
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« Reply #906 on: November 09, 2017, 10:53:52 PM »

I just heard on the news that a midget had his pocket picked....How could anyone stoop so low Huh? cheers

Probably stretching exercises.   grin
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jdincau
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« Reply #907 on: January 14, 2018, 07:33:37 PM »

I went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Jack Daniels and put it in the bicycle basket. 

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.

So I drank all the Jack Daniels before I cycled home. 

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

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Unless it's crazy, ambitious and delusional, it's not worth our time!
floydjer
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« Reply #908 on: January 15, 2018, 12:33:16 PM »

hardest part of bike riding Huh...The pavement cheers
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #909 on: February 26, 2018, 10:01:14 AM »

Patti has been rather sad since Milo the cat passed away so I got her a puppy. She sometimes pees on the floor and now the dog has started doing it too...... cheers
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #910 on: March 13, 2018, 08:27:46 AM »

The bride and I were talking last night and I mentioned that should I die...She is to sell off all my tools and equipment ASAP...Since I know she`d re-marry and I don`t want some other idiot using my tools. She said..." what makes you think I`d marry ANOTHER idiot? ".....
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #911 on: March 14, 2018, 09:27:05 AM »

3.14 % of all sailors are Pi-rates........................Pi Day/ Friday...Same thing cheers
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #912 on: March 28, 2018, 08:42:34 AM »

I tried cutting a piece of metal into a  square and ended up w/ a hexagon....That`s what I get for cutting corners..........
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
WOODY@DDLLC
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ECTA made it to AK!


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« Reply #913 on: March 28, 2018, 10:44:43 AM »

Jer, you must have gone off on a tangent - you should have had an octagon.  shocked grin
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All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #914 on: March 28, 2018, 11:51:11 AM »

Don't be so obtuse with your corrections Woody... cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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