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Author Topic: The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread  (Read 199096 times)
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Milwaukee Midget
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« Reply #600 on: September 26, 2013, 08:19:34 PM »

Wunnerful, wunnerful. Turn off the bubble machine....



Is THAT what that was -

I heard the gurgling sound, but after the smoke cleared, all I saw was Star Trek on the TV and a half eaten bag of Cheetos . . .

 grin
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"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  rolleyes

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

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« Reply #601 on: September 26, 2013, 09:16:22 PM »

Wunnerful, wunnerful. Turn off the bubble machine....



Is THAT what that was -

I heard the gurgling sound, but after the smoke cleared, all I saw was Star Trek on the TV and a half eaten bag of Cheetos . . .

 grin

Obviously, Stan Freeburg had been there.............

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Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
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« Reply #602 on: September 26, 2013, 10:17:13 PM »

Wunnerful, wunnerful. Turn off the bubble machine....



Is THAT what that was -

I heard the gurgling sound, but after the smoke cleared, all I saw was Star Trek on the TV and a half eaten bag of Cheetos . . .

 grin

Obviously, Stan Freeburg had been there.............
With Saint George and the Dragonet.  grin Wayno
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« Reply #603 on: September 27, 2013, 07:02:39 AM »

We shouldn`t make jokes about pot....It does have two known side effects......Memory loss and  ......I forgot what the other one is. cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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« Reply #604 on: September 27, 2013, 07:03:48 AM »

Oh yeah........It`s memory loss. cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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« Reply #605 on: September 27, 2013, 11:34:27 AM »

Who needed MTV? We did just fine with Jimi, Stones and Zepplin while watching that adjust your color bar on my black & white TV.
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Dean Los Angeles
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« Reply #606 on: September 28, 2013, 10:52:01 AM »

Cliff Clavin on beer:

“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
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Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.
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« Reply #607 on: September 28, 2013, 10:53:45 AM »

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!
If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG, you would have $33.00.
If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank it, turned in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have $214.00.

Therefore the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401- Keg Plan
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Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #608 on: October 03, 2013, 10:06:53 AM »

Why is the third hand on a clock called the second hand Huh huh
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« Reply #609 on: October 03, 2013, 10:35:00 AM »

Why do people always complain about loose fitting tights?  huh  Tony
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« Reply #610 on: October 03, 2013, 11:41:32 AM »

Dean, you just made my day. If we ever meet a six pack is yours. cheers If you drink beer?.
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« Reply #611 on: October 03, 2013, 12:23:19 PM »

Why do we sing " Take me out to the ball game " when we are already there??...And why are they called "stands" when you use them to sit???....................How did Webster know the  correct spelling of all those words?Huh? cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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« Reply #612 on: October 07, 2013, 07:44:15 PM »

On the lunch room table at work...


* on the table.IMG.jpg (109.32 KB, 600x744 - viewed 224 times.)
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« Reply #613 on: October 07, 2013, 11:53:03 PM »

Nice one Bo. grin
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Dean Los Angeles
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« Reply #614 on: October 09, 2013, 04:14:54 PM »

The folks at the National Weather Service want to get paid too.

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Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.
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