Landracing Forum Home
December 14, 2017, 07:33:43 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News:
BACK TO LANDRACING.COM HOMEPAGE
 
   Home   Help Search Calendar Login Register  


(Note: Donations are not tax deductible)







Live Audio Streaming and Archives of Past Events
Next Live Event: TBD
Pages: 1 ... 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 [222] 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 586331 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3315 on: July 14, 2017, 11:51:51 AM »

Omelette??  if she`d rather have them Benedict??...I`ll trader.......................( under hand whiffle ball to the comma cop ) cheers
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
manta22
Hero Member
*****
Online Online

Age: 79
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 3025


What, me worry?




Ignore
« Reply #3316 on: July 14, 2017, 02:36:08 PM »

Eggs Benedict Arnold.... they turn on you.

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
Logged

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ
bbarn
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Age: 47
Location: Harmony, PA
Posts: 615





Ignore
« Reply #3317 on: July 21, 2017, 06:54:49 AM »

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
Logged

I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3318 on: July 21, 2017, 08:10:42 AM »

Yesterday`s high was 78 and the low was 45...Neither were records............
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3319 on: July 21, 2017, 08:11:39 AM »

The Sun is out and nobody bothered to relight it..........................
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Stainless1
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 66
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 6482


Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« Reply #3320 on: July 21, 2017, 08:56:17 AM »

That may be because the grass is always greener on the unlit side  rolleyes
Logged

Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
WOODY@DDLLC
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 72
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 1137


It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


WWW

Ignore
« Reply #3321 on: July 21, 2017, 09:07:54 AM »

A fleeing terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties. The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?

The Jewish man replied,  "I have no water.  Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The  Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel!  I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties.  I need water!"

"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."

"Pahh!  A curse on your ties,  I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel.  I will show you that I am bigger than any of that.  If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go In Peace!"

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!"
Logged

All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3322 on: July 21, 2017, 09:41:52 AM »

Mountain ranges  aren`t funny....They are hill areas.......................
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3323 on: July 21, 2017, 09:45:28 AM »

hey Woody....similar thing happened to me once...Went out for lunch with 2 Brits, a Scot. 3 south Africans, A jewish guy, 2 Peruvians and a Canadian....They wouldn`t let us in without a Thai................... Dead Horse
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3324 on: July 28, 2017, 08:41:53 AM »

i tried to tell a few  sheep jokes  to a friend`s dog......He`d herd them all before............
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3325 on: July 28, 2017, 08:42:56 AM »

How does a farmer plow his field in circles?Huh  with a pro-tractor.........................
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Stainless1
Administrator
Hero Member
***
Offline Offline

Age: 66
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 6482


Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« Reply #3326 on: July 28, 2017, 08:55:32 AM »

How does a farmer plow his field in circles?Huh  with a pro-tractor.........................

Around here we just use a compass....
Logged

Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
floydjer
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 60
Location: grand rapids, michigan
Posts: 2251


"There is no duck side of the moon..."




Ignore
« Reply #3327 on: July 28, 2017, 09:23:31 AM »

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Bob goes off on a tangent....But I see your point................. cheers
Logged

I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Ron Gibson
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Age: 77
Location: Omaha NE
Posts: 694




Ignore
« Reply #3328 on: July 28, 2017, 09:29:49 AM »

Sharp isn't he  huh huh

Ron
Logged

Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.
WOODY@DDLLC
Hero Member
*****
Offline Offline

Age: 72
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 1137


It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


WWW

Ignore
« Reply #3329 on: July 28, 2017, 09:32:48 AM »

I read that 60% of all social media conversations were pointless babble!  shocked shocked
Does that mean the other 40% is pointed babble?  huh huh grin grin
Logged

All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz
Pages: 1 ... 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 [222] 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
Simple Audio Video Embedder
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!


Google visited last this page October 03, 2017, 03:59:37 PM