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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 584690 times)
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Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3270 on: June 09, 2017, 02:38:15 PM »

I gotta go home now so I'm not tardy.  I hate having to announce:   "Om'let, Om'let!"
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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« Reply #3271 on: June 09, 2017, 11:07:36 PM »

   I've been reading this thread with great interest. Now I think I'll go to bed and pullet.
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Milwaukee Midget
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« Reply #3272 on: June 15, 2017, 10:33:36 PM »

Busy day in front of me Friday, so I'm posting this on Nova Scotia Time.

I was visiting an elderly relative uncle at a nursing home.  It was getting late, and the nurse came in to give him his medications and a cup of hot chocolate.

I commented that the hot chocolate was a nice touch, and the nurse said, "Yeah, it helps him relax and fall asleep."

But then I noticed that the nurse gave him a pill I recognized.

"That's Viagra!", I said.  "He's 87 years old!  Why are you dosing him with an aphrodisiac?"

"Oh, that's easy", the nurse replied.  "It keeps him from rolling out of bed."
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"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  rolleyes

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!
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« Reply #3273 on: June 16, 2017, 07:20:18 AM »

O.K..the eggs got beat to death..let`s switch to tools huh....You craftsmen rachet  this up before Slim puts a hex on it...............
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3274 on: June 16, 2017, 07:37:08 AM »

Let me see if I can get my head to Snap On to some great comments.
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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« Reply #3275 on: June 16, 2017, 08:24:46 AM »

Nailed it Jon...But why wood-n`t you ?? cheers
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« Reply #3276 on: June 16, 2017, 08:28:55 AM »

What is a wrench`s favorite T.V. show???......." I Love Loosey"................
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Milwaukee Midget
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« Reply #3277 on: June 16, 2017, 08:34:08 AM »

O.K..the eggs got beat to death..let`s switch to tools huh....You craftsmen rachet  this up before Slim puts a hex on it...............

No reasons we can't keep 'em both - just serve 'em up on a crescent . . .
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"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  rolleyes

We are NOT rebuilding . . . We are reloading.

GOD SAVE MG - The Queen can take care of herself!
floydjer
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« Reply #3278 on: June 16, 2017, 09:27:50 AM »

oddly enough...Mrs .Floydjer has Crescent wrench eyes...I look into them and my nuts tighten..... cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3279 on: June 16, 2017, 09:58:24 AM »

Yanno, it's a shame that Nancy doesn't pay attention and post here.  She works in the Hardware department at Lowe's.  My wife is an expert at handling tools all day - she's very good at it. rolleyes
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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« Reply #3280 on: June 16, 2017, 10:59:14 AM »

oddly enough...Mrs .Floydjer has Crescent wrench eyes...I look into them and my nuts tighten..... cheers

She's obviously well adjusted  wink  cheers
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Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
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« Reply #3281 on: June 16, 2017, 01:21:44 PM »

Well yeah Bob...She doesn`t hammer the point, But she will chisel away until she reaches the same spirit level as the rest of us.................. cheers   (gauntlet tossed)
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« Reply #3282 on: June 16, 2017, 01:36:22 PM »

I went to the doctors the other day for a checkup and the doctor told me I had to stop masturbating.
When I asked him why he said "Because I am trying to give you an examination!"
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I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.
Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3283 on: June 16, 2017, 01:53:50 PM »

Well, yeah, fine, okay, Brandon, I guess that'll qualify as a tool joke.
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3284 on: June 16, 2017, 04:02:34 PM »

Little Billy was 4 years old and was staying with his grandpa Floydjer for a few days. He was playing outside with the other kids, and when he came into the house he asked, 'Grandpa, what's it called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'

His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, Billy, it's called sexual intercourse.’

‘Oh,’ Little Billy said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds.

And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you!!
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
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