Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 877741 times)

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Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3120 on: January 27, 2017, 08:24:46 AM »
I went to the doctor because I broke my arm in two places.....My Doc. thinks I should stay out of those places.............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3121 on: January 27, 2017, 08:26:13 AM »
You know the difference between a hippo and a zippo??   One is a big,fat animal and the other is a little lighter............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3122 on: January 27, 2017, 08:27:48 AM »
Walking down the street I saw a cookie sitting on the curb crying....I asked what was wrong and he told me he was sad because his mother was  a wafer so long.....................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3123 on: January 27, 2017, 08:29:54 AM »
Two bananas are sun bathing along a river bank when a big turd floats by and yells " Come on in...the water is fine"   One banana says to the other"  I don`t believe that sh*t"
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Online Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3124 on: January 27, 2017, 09:07:47 AM »
Jerry, why the heck did you go to the bother of getting your arm broken again if it was already broke?  Wasn't one fracture enough for you?  I'm so cornfused. . . :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :?
Jon E. Wennerberg
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Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3125 on: January 27, 2017, 09:47:13 AM »
Slim, his sensibility has always been a little fractured....  :roll:

On the way home I started translating the hiway centerline in morse code... tot to tot to tot to tot to tot to tot to ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3126 on: January 27, 2017, 10:21:36 AM »
1.      I am against picketing, but I don’t quite know how to show it.

2.     Jerry stayed up all night trying to remember if he had insomnia or amnesia.

3.     Jon could not figure out why he was not excepted to collage.

4.     On the other side of town, they are building a new apartment called the Oedipus Complex. Everyone and their mothers are moving there.

5.     He is so dense that he couldn’t pour water out of a boot if it had the instructions written on the heel.
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3127 on: February 03, 2017, 08:50:02 AM »
Milo asks................what is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence???  The cat has claws at the end of it`s paws and the sentence has a pause at the end of it`s clause...........
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3128 on: February 03, 2017, 08:51:33 AM »
Speaking of Milo...He can jump higher than The Empire State Building...But then, the ESB can`t jump............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline WOODY@DDLLC

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3129 on: February 03, 2017, 10:19:15 AM »
1.     My boss wants to know what I want to do in 3 years.  Like I have 2020 vision.

2.     My boss also told me that I have the attention span of a……. of a…….

3.     Headline: Fruit truck tips over creating traffic jam.

4.     I go to the gym so infrequently that I feel compelled to call it the James.

5.     I think it is wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

6.     ToDo List:
           NOTHING

Women and cats will do as they please!  :x
Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.  :-D
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Offline Podunk

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3130 on: February 03, 2017, 05:01:38 PM »
I've been having some short term memory loss lately. So the doctor sent me for a MRI of my brain. Here's the result.

Offline floydjer

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3131 on: February 10, 2017, 08:37:19 AM »
Don`t walk around in the snow without your shoes...You`ll be brrrr-footed :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Offline Stainless1

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3132 on: February 10, 2017, 09:07:00 AM »
Observations from a week in the hospital getting my heart valve replaced...

If you don't have a hole there they will install one

If you do have a hole there they will put something in it

There will be a lot of knocks at your door, at all hours, some will be your friends visiting...  some will be the nurse checking, bringing pills or asking questions...  body functions are very important to these folks.... for the first few days after surgery when the knock at the door came I started to ask...
who goes there... friend or enema  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.

Online Seldom Seen Slim

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3133 on: February 10, 2017, 09:27:27 AM »
I felt the urge to stop you - felt that one coming - knew it would bomb - saw that it'd go down the tubes - had to clench to restrain myself - was afraid it was going to make me run -

You get the idea, folks.
Jon E. Wennerberg
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 Skandia, Michigan
 (that's way up north)
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Offline tauruck

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Re: Stupid joke Friday
« Reply #3134 on: February 10, 2017, 09:35:20 AM »
Always the enema AKA enemy!!!!.
Hope you get get better?. :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: