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Author Topic: Stupid joke Friday  (Read 557499 times)
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Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3000 on: September 23, 2016, 09:41:49 AM »

Woody, Woody, Woody.  Where do you get those?  You can't persuade (pursuede?) me that you make 'em up yourself.

Can you? huh huh
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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floydjer
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"There is no duck side of the moon..."




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« Reply #3001 on: September 30, 2016, 08:10:25 AM »

This mobster....."Tony" suspects that his deaf/mute ( excuse me...non-speaking-hearing impaired) book keeper is ripping him off...So the mobster calls in his sign language speaking attorney to talk to the guy.  " Tony" points a Kimber .45 ACP at the guy`s head and tells the lawyer to ask where his money is.  The b/k starts signing away and tells the attorney that the cash ..about $10 million ..is buried in a brown suitcase behind his garage. The att. turns to Tony and says....." He said  F$%^ you Tony...You ain`t got the balls to pull the trigger............  cheers
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I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
Stainless1
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Robert W. P. "Stainless" Steele Wichita, Kansas



« Reply #3002 on: September 30, 2016, 08:28:46 AM »

Jerry, Dr. Freud says you are a lexophile, when I asked him to explain he said you wrote a theatrical performance about puns. 
It was a play on words.  cheers

Thanks Doc....  cheers
 
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Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, MSA Bockscar Lakester with a little N20 
MSA Bockscar Lakester #1000 my fastest mile 245 and change, 84 ci turbobusa motor... but Corey's 233 MPH H/BFL record is still 3MPH faster than mine.
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It's GONE ......... the Ohio Mile! :-(


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« Reply #3003 on: September 30, 2016, 09:06:06 PM »

1.  My wife said I need to grow up.  I was speechless.  It is hard to say anything with 45 gummy bears in your mouth.

2.  I wondered what my grandparents did to fight boredom before the internet.  So I asked my 17 aunts and uncles but they didn't know either.

3.  I hope our next president is good at spelling.  We do not need a mix-up between "Lunch Order" and "Launch Order."

4.  Here is a zinger for that person who makes you mad:  "Well, aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution."

5.  What do you call a moon that is twice the normal size?     Kim Kardashian.
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saltwheels262
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« Reply #3004 on: September 30, 2016, 09:18:48 PM »

  What do you call a moon that is twice the normal size?     Kim Kardashian.

You can say that again.
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bub '07 - 140.293 a/pg   120" crate street mill  
bub '10 - 158.100  sweetooth gear
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lta 8/14  - 169.xxx. w/sw2           
'16 -- 0 runs ; 0 events -- made a 2 state change in ZIP codes

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                            - franey  8/2007
gkabbt
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« Reply #3005 on: September 30, 2016, 09:49:14 PM »

  What do you call a moon that is twice the normal size?     Kim Kardashian.

You can say that again.

Baby got FAT Back, FAT Back, FAT Back and MORE FAT Back..........LOL!!!!!  grin

And remember, her husband has Presidential ambitions.....GOD HELP US ALL!!!!!

Gregg
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Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3006 on: October 01, 2016, 06:39:58 AM »

Correction! Correction!  Comma Cop at work.

Woody, dang it, you've gone and done it again.  In your #4 the quotation is shown as an interrogative - yet you don't punctuate it correctly.

WTF is wrong with you, man?  Suffering over the demise of the Wilmington track as a venue for LSR?

Comma Cop rests his case.  Q.E.D.
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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Seldom Seen Slim
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Nancy -- 201.913 mph record on a production ZX15!


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« Reply #3007 on: October 01, 2016, 06:43:37 AM »

But speaking of your stuff, Woodson, your first one made me burst out laughing (no gummy bears were injured in the outburst).

A few nights ago I was already in the bedroom as Nancy headed to perform her evening ablutions.  A moment later I heard a bit of a "thump" and Nancy shouting "You are SO JUVENILE!"

I burst into wonderful laughter, thinking that at 68 years old I can still do silly stuff that gets me labeled as a kid.  I'd taped the cover to the toilet seat -- so it wouldn't open right, 'specially in the muted light of almost-bedtime. cheers cheers cheers
Grow Up?  Not me!!!!!
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Jon E. Wennerberg
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Ron Gibson
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« Reply #3008 on: October 07, 2016, 12:14:28 AM »

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry the password must be more than 8 characters

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have more than one upper case letter used consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

Windows: Sorry, that password is already in use

PS don't know why it's showing before midnight, It's an hour off
« Last Edit: October 07, 2016, 12:18:40 AM by Ron Gibson » Logged

Life is an abrasive. Whether you get ground away or polished to a shine depends on what you are made of.
gkabbt
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« Reply #3009 on: October 07, 2016, 05:13:57 AM »

TGIF


* Friday.jpg (61.76 KB, 600x718 - viewed 58 times.)
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gkabbt
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« Reply #3010 on: October 07, 2016, 05:20:28 AM »

Another


* Vesparados.jpg (47.42 KB, 600x600 - viewed 80 times.)
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gkabbt
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« Reply #3011 on: October 07, 2016, 05:21:42 AM »

And another


* Dentist.jpg (124.02 KB, 600x600 - viewed 64 times.)
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gkabbt
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« Reply #3012 on: October 07, 2016, 05:22:39 AM »

And another


* Catch & Release.jpg (157.12 KB, 623x600 - viewed 109 times.)
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gkabbt
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« Reply #3013 on: October 07, 2016, 05:24:05 AM »

And another


* biker chick.jpg (39.41 KB, 533x800 - viewed 87 times.)
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gkabbt
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« Reply #3014 on: October 07, 2016, 05:25:00 AM »

And another


* 8I59FfS.jpg (52.78 KB, 650x651 - viewed 85 times.)
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